Remember to Thank Your Partner, Ungrateful Bastard
In long-term relationships, it can sometimes feel like gratitude between people is running out. In the harsh everyday life, it’s easy to take someone else’s favor or generosity for granted. Making dinner at night, making the bed every morning, mopping the floors, or scheduling doctor’s appointments for children are all necessary activities that can seem mundane, even if they deserve real gratitude.
If just saying “thank you” seems like a commitment that will be sacred to your partner, then consider a thank you note. Finding an unexpected note of praise – whether hidden under a pillow or some other clever, strategic location – can do wonders for your interpersonal understanding, especially if one of your partners has been feeling particularly unsung lately.
Gratitude is good for your mental health.
The feeling that your hard work has gone unnoticed can cause resentment. But when gratitude is expressed – even for seemingly minor things – the opposite happens, creating a mutual state of happiness for both people involved. Sara B. Algo, a social psychologist at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, has studied the effect of gratitude in romantic and platonic relationships.
Speaking to Live Happy in 2017 , Algo outlined a suitable scenario for anyone in a committed relationship. She explained, hypothetically, that if someone’s wife (or any partner) “did something good for [her husband] just because she wanted to,” and then the husband reciprocated by acknowledging her act of kindness, “two people would benefit for one person. gratitude. ”The husband feels recognized for his contributions, while the wife, who has tried her best to show mercy for pleasure, has infused her relationship with a positive tone that can make a big difference.
Years of research have shown that regular expressions of gratitude improve mental well-being in general, especially by helping people sleep better and lead more energetic lives. And while more research is needed to determine if gratitude can provide physical health benefits, there are indications that it can. Jeff Human, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, explained to the University of California, Berkeley in 2018:
Gratitude … can be an incredibly powerful and uplifting experience. There is growing evidence that gratitude can evoke more than just good feelings. It can improve health.
Thank you letters are a fantastic surprise
Gratitude is even better when it comes in the form of a surprise. I personally love the idea of leaving a thank you note under your partner’s pillow, in a dresser drawer, or some other inappropriate place. Especially if your partner is having a bad day, saying a few eccentric words can only improve their mood.
How you express gratitude does not necessarily matter, although it is this hindrance that keeps most people from expressing gratitude more often when they deserve it. Don’t worry so much about it; The process of expressing gratitude is the most important thing. In a 2019 article for Fast Company , Lydia Dishman paraphrased the results of a 2018 study published in the journal Psychological Science , explaining that it is not the content of the thank you note that matters, but the gesture itself:
Finding the right words shouldn’t be a problem as long as the expression is authentic, the researchers say. They also found that those who wrote thank-you notes consistently reported being in more positive moods, which underscores existing research on the effect of expressing gratitude on improving mood.
The power of this gesture extends to corporate settings, romances, and friendships. Given the minimal effort required to write a thank you note, and the huge benefits they can provide, this is a good habit. (You don’t need to thank me for this.)