Best Books to Teach Your Child About Grief and Loss
When we want to convey a complex or abstract concept to our children, whether it’s empathy, racism, anxiety or bullying, we often turn to children’s books for help. These books can help us introduce us to topics and ideas that we otherwise try to express in our own words, and this is especially true when we need to help our children cope with a serious illness or the death of a loved one. We hope you never have to buy these books, but they are ready to help us if we need them.
I recently asked our Facebook group Offspring which children’s grief books have helped them and their young children through difficult times. Here’s what they recommended.
Cry heart, but never break
This has been recommended a couple of times as a deep and beautiful book on grief and loss. Written by Glenn Ringtved and illustrated by Charlotte Purdy. From the Goodreads description:
The four brothers and sisters, knowing that their grandmother is seriously ill, make an agreement so that death will not take her. But Death still comes, as it should. He ends up softly, naturally. And he has enough time to share with the children a story that helps them realize the value of loss in life and the importance of being able to say goodbye.
Invisible string
This was another option recommended by several parents in the group who described it as helpful and wonderful. Written by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Jeff Stevenson. Goodreads says:
In this touching story, Karst offers a very simple approach to overcoming the fear of being alone or separated from their parents, written with a creative flair that children can easily identify and remember.
Life Time: A Great Way to Explain Life and Death to Children
This book simply and poignantly explains how every living thing has its own special life. Brian Melloni and Robert Ingpen. Goodreads says:
Life is a touching book for children of all ages, even for parents. This allows us to explain life and death in a sensitive, caring and beautiful way. Lives tell us about the beginning. And about the endings. And about life in the middle. With large, wonderful illustrations, he talks about plants. About animals. About people. He says that death is as much a part of life as birth. It helps us remember. This helps us understand.
Hug from heaven
When a child misses a loved one, this book can comfort him. Written by Anna Whiston-Donaldson and illustrated by Andrea Alemanno. Goodreads says:
Written as a simple love poem for a deceased person, this book reminds children – and adults alike – of the power to hurt, lead a positive life, and find special ways to honor the memory of those we love. New York Times bestselling author Anna Whiston-Donaldson conveys a simple and comforting thought: Love is stronger than death, and a hug from heaven awaits you.
Ida, Always
Ida, Always a good choice for a child who is coping with an incurable illness of a loved one. Written by Caron Lewis and illustrated by Charles Santoso. Goodreads says:
Gus lives in a large park in the middle of an even larger city, and he spends his days with Ida. Ida is right there. Is always.
Then one sad day, Gus finds out that Ida is very sick and will not get better. Friends help each other meet difficult news by whispering, sobbing, hugging and even laughing. Gradually, Gus realizes that even after Ida leaves, she will still be with him – through the sounds of their city and the memories that live in their favorite places.
Farewell book
Told from the perspective of a fish that has lost its mate, this book is an encouraging story for children who are going through their own loss. Posted by Todd Parr. Goodreads says:
Todd Parr tells a touching and accessible story of goodbye. By touching on the many emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it’s okay not to know all the answers and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life’s toughest moments.
Always remember
This book was recommended by a member of the group who read it to her children after the death of her grandfather. It is a lyrically told story with beautiful illustrations. Written by Sese Meng and illustrated by Chago. His Goodreads description says:
After the Old Turtle sailed for the last time and breathed out his last breath, and the waves gently carried him away, his friends fondly remember how he influenced each of them. When the sea animals remember how much better the Old Turtle made their life and their world, they realize that he hasn’t really left, because his memory and legacy will remain forever.
Grandfather island
If your child is specifically going through a serious illness or death of grandparents, this may be the right choice for them. Written by Benji Davis. Goodreads says:
This new book by Benji Davis touches on the emotional theme of losing a grandparent. Subtly narrated, this beautifully illustrated book solves a complex subject with great subtlety and depth.
Whistler’s last song
Although this book is specifically about the death of a child, it is a good way to introduce and explain the concept of death in general, and it examines the various emotions that a person may experience during grief. Written by Adam Herro and illustrated by Mark Dublin. Goodreads says:
Set deep in the woods, Whistler’s Last Song tells the story of the Leaf family’s son, Whistler, who was born with a hole in his stomach. Every time the wind blows into his belly, it creates a soothing melody that the entire forest hears. Over time, strong winds hit Whistler’s belly, forcing his stem more and more to detach from the tree on which he lives with his family. As Whistler’s last night draws near, forest animals gather around the tree to voice their questions about death and dying to wise Daddy Oak. Papa Oak’s love and support brings peace to both animals and readers.
Kissing hand
This book is not specifically about grief or death, but rather about separation anxiety and creating a bond with your loved one, even when you may not be together. One parent in our group says she read this book to her children when her father was sick so that they could say goodbye to him when they saw him. Written by Audrey Penn and illustrated by Ruth E. Harper and Nancy M. Leek. Goodreads says:
School starts in the woods, but Chester Raccoon doesn’t want to go. To ease Chester’s fears, Mrs. Raccoon shares a family secret called the Kissing Hand to give him confidence in her love anytime his world gets a little scary. Since its first publication in 1993, this touching book has become a children’s classic that has touched the lives of millions of children and their parents, especially during periods of separation, be it in school, kindergarten or camp.
What other books have helped you explain death to your children, or have comforted them in their loss and grief? You can leave more ideas in the comments for parents who need them.