Let People Enjoy What You Hate

I have a friend who recently shared an Instagram post from an extremely problematic person. I realized that my friend didn’t know who this person was – unlike me, my friend was not involved in the latest clashes in the social media culture wars – so I told him that he should probably delete this post.

I didn’t agree with the mood expressed in the publication itself, but that’s not the point – I wanted my friend to know that he was unwittingly joining an odious person. But in general, I would say that it is probably better to do the opposite than me: more often than not, you should allow your friends and family to enjoy what you find disgusting.

If you’re an opinionated person, it can be hard not to notice when a friend starts a song from an artist you hate or admires a new book from an author with an ambiguous personal history. However, there are times when it is appropriate to voice your opinion, even if it is controversial or controversial, and sometimes it is not.

If it’s harmless, be quiet

Don’t be the only dissenting voice in the room when everyone else is enjoying good, clean fun. Why sulk because you hate football while everyone else is talking about last night’s tense playoffs? If everyone else likes what you hate, it’s okay if you step back inward, and of course you don’t have to outwardly judge people who like what you don’t value.

People usually value their beliefs and personal tastes, but in no case should someone’s tastes be criticized unless they are irresponsible or insulting. You can and will come off like a jerk if you meet someone’s enthusiasm for Adele by rolling your eyes or aggressive opposing stance. (Of course, she’s not the first artist I listen to, but I’m not going to stab my friend for singing her praises).

Relationships are built not only on a shared interest in art, music, books, sports and politics. The foundation of any healthy relationship, whether platonic or romantic, is a mutual interest in the other person’s well-being (laughing a little, too, never hurts). If someone’s supportive interest in a particular TV show prompts you, keep it to yourself.

There is time to speak

Of course, if you care about someone, sometimes it is worth intervening when you feel it is absolutely necessary. If, for example, a friend doesn’t stop raving about Woody Allen or J.K. Rowling – two icons in their respective fields that are now almost as synonymous with controversy as their foundational works – that might not be a terrible idea, at least not. mention their questionable reputation if the person you are talking to does not know.

It’s possible that a friend or loved one will continue to hug a celebrity (or their work) despite the celebrity’s social downfall – after all, at least for some, it’s possible to separate art from artist. If you believe this is the case, it is probably best to leave it as it is. This is not a hill to die or kill your friendship on, especially if you realize that your friend is actively fighting the divide between the creator and their creation.

In other cases, however, it is perfectly normal – if not necessary – to question someone’s loyalty to an apparently problematic person or cause. If you are really close to someone, you will not let them spread conspiracies that question the effectiveness of vaccines, or spread lies about electoral fraud, at least without presenting a different point of view. There are limits to how effective such a confrontation can be, but on rare occasions it is truly justified and is always worth a try.

It’s about respect

It is true that everyone has an inner need to be heard, and there is no shame in expressing your opinion on various issues if you feel that it will be well received or stimulate meaningful conversation. But in many cases, you shouldn’t express your opinion about something as trivial as a music artist or author that you may not like. If you are unsure of how to express your point of view, ask yourself how you would react if the roles were reversed. Poking fun at someone else’s taste is unlikely to generate stimulating discussion, so keep your disdain for reality TV, genre novels, or comic-book films to yourself. If you have something to say, why not ask the other person what they like about art that you cannot appreciate? Maybe this will allow you to look at it in a new light. At the very least, you show the other person that you respect their right to love what they like.