How to Teach Children About Sexism

Watching Kamala Harris take over as our country’s first vice president (not to mention our first vice president of color) last week has been a triumphant moment for many women and girls. It was also a reminder of how much sexism, gender discrimination and misogyny women need to overcome in order to achieve such a feat. And this is a reminder that we must teach our children these issues from an early age and continuing throughout their childhood.

Gender stereotypes begin to form at an early age

Dr. Erin Palke, associate professor of psychology at Whitman College , tells me that children as young as two or three not only label and classify people by gender, but have already begun to form gender stereotypes. This is partly due to the explicit labels we all use on a daily basis, such as the preschool teacher saying, “Good morning boys and girls,” or the parent saying, “Did you have fun playing with the little boy on the playground? today? ”This is partly due to the fact that we notice how often colors, clothes and toys differ according to gender.

“Children grasp this information, and developmental models suggest that as soon as gender becomes psychologically meaningful — so as soon as children say,“ Oh, this is a category that matters and we need to pay attention to, ”they start working. over her understanding. what [characteristics] are in girls and boys, ”says Palke, whose research focuses on how children and adolescents shape their views of gender and race. “And in our environment there are many clues that give children information about classic gender stereotypes.”

That’s because even though you, as a parent, can buy gender-neutral clothing and toys and read stories full of strong female characters in leadership or leadership positions to them, they don’t see it when they turn on the TV or go outside. outside your home. One toy aisle ride at Walmart or Target will demonstrate how colors and images are used to classify toys for both boys and girls. Children soon begin to learn that traits such as kindness or sweetness are more commonly applied to girls, while boys are more physical; they receive signals that women are more likely to clean the house and men are mowing the grass; and they notice that the “leaders” – in their schools, in their communities, in politics – are more often than not men.

“They learn the rules early on, and unfortunately, this happens regardless of what you as a parent hope to teach your child about gender,” says Palke. “It’s so common in our culture, so widespread, that kids will develop stereotypes just by living in our society.”

This is why it is important, she says, to speak directly to children about sexism from an early age. If you want them to recognize gender bias, you need to teach them about gender bias.

“I think there are some parallels with regards to the race,” says Palke. “If you want kids to admit racial bias, you need to talk to them about race. In the same way that the perspective of “color blindness” does not work, gender blindness does not work in terms of teaching children about sexism. You have to really talk about gender bias issues if you want them to know about sexism. “

Define “sexism” for them

Palke says she and her colleagues conducted research in which they went to kindergarten classes to openly educate children about sexism. They first give the children a word and then define its meaning – treating someone unfairly or judging someone because of their gender.

They give examples of this, for example, if someone says that only boys or only girls can play a certain game. Or say that the girl has a “boy haircut.” Or that some people think that boys should be doctors and girls should be nurses. And then they worked with the children to find answers they could use if they heard statements like this, for example, “This is not fair, this is sexism: boys and girls can play any game.”

“I think it requires a clear indication that this is what some people think, or this is what some people say and it’s wrong, and if you hear someone say or do something like that, that’s what what could we say in return, ”says Palke. … “Then practice with them.”

It is not enough to point it out

Many children since elementary school know that there has never been a woman president of the United States. But according to Palke, if we don’t talk about the reason for this – gender discrimination – they are likely to draw their own wrong conclusions, for example, because girls are not smart enough to be president, or because boys read more books, or because that women don’t want to be presidents.

Therefore, while pointing out real-life examples that highlight the outcome of gender discrimination, it is also important to link these examples to their root cause.

“If I just tell my child, ‘Oh, I wonder why there are no more women on the school board,’ and I stop there, maybe my child will walk away from this interaction thinking, ‘Oh, it’s because women are not good. leaders, ”says Palke. “So I think it’s important to point this out, and then I think it’s important to continue discussing issues related to discrimination.”

As children grow up, we must empower boys and girls to seek out examples of sexism and gender discrimination alike – and speak up when they see them. Both boys and girls should be encouraged to actively support the equality of women. It’s great to bond with your daughter, say, attending a women’s march, but it’s even better to take her father and brother with you.