Press the Political “reset” Button With Your Children
Talking to kids about politics hasn’t been easy for the past four years. These were non-standard political times. We, as a people, shouted more than discussed, and the arguments were not so much about politics as about our moral principles and values. Teaching our children simple lessons about citizenship – and all its rights and responsibilities – might have seemed trivial when it seemed like democracy itself was at stake, even as recently as a week ago.
Our children saw pictures of Americans storming their own Capitol building, and they saw the expressions on our faces as we watched them. With a news cycle almost entirely devoted to how divided we are and how fundamentally we disagree (and even dislike each other), it’s difficult to raise kids who are aware of what’s going on without imposing their own big emotions on them.
Depending on your political views, today you may be extremely disappointed or hopeful. But before you start a tirade or victory circle (or both), remember that our children absorb every word we say.
Model of mercy
We can teach our children grace in politics in the same way we teach them to be good winners and losers when they play board games or team sports. I understand that the political stakes in America are much higher than, say, a high school basketball game, but how we model grace in high-impact situations also provides information on how to deal with small wins and losses. (If you have to complain and be emphatically unfriendly , just put it off until they’re in bed.)
Remember, emotions can be powerful when it comes to politics, especially now, and our children have a way to consume ours. We may feel hopeful or discouraged, but when we dare to be complacent or angry, children will notice. They won’t just reflect our political views as we get older; they will probably also reflect our attitude towards politics. We want them to be informed and involved without being violent or vengeful.
Highlight the good
Whether the country is now headed by people of your choice, or whether the Supreme Court is filled with judges whose values align with yours, today represents a political reset button for all of us. The last four years, and especially the last year, have been a turbulent time, unlike what we have experienced. Our children almost certainly noticed this.
If we were less than outstanding in how we talked about these issues with our children, today may be a chance for us to take a deep breath and look ahead. Find something positive, something reassuring to focus on. Maybe you want to focus on the message of unity or the importance of watching the first female VP of color take office. You can also use this moment to think ahead of time about how your family can advocate for issues that are important to you in the future, whether nationally or in your own community.
Check with them
Children often absorb what is happening around them more than we think. They can talk about politics with their teachers, classmates, and friends; they probably have questions about what is happening in the country or their own opinions. Tara Conley , a media researcher at Montclair State University, tells NPR that adults should take a quiet moment to talk to their children, perhaps at the dinner table or before bed:
The idea, she said, is to let children “ask questions about what they see, how they feel and what they think.” In other words: give children a safe place to reflect and share. And give yourself a chance to dispel any scary rumors or misinformation they may have come across.
This can be a moment to listen and calm.
This article was originally published in 2018 and was updated on January 20, 2021 to reflect the current context and information.