Don’t Buy Loud Toys for Other People’s Children
Many years ago, even before I became a parent, I became an aunt. And this first niece, who was about two years old, loved a show called Yo Gabba Gabba! it was about music and dance. I, like an incredible, cheerful aunt, bought her this Yo Gabba Gabba! a dance mat that encouraged children to “boogie-woogie.” I imagined how she boogie-woogie as much as she wanted, breaking all these little keys with her tiny feet. She’ll love it .
Soon after she opened it and I really liked it, I started getting hate messages from my brother: “This is the most annoying toy ever made; Just wait until you have children of your own, ”he threatened. “You better believe that one day you’ll get it back.”
It was almost two years before my own son was born, and while he never really materialized his threat (about a choice he tells me he regrets), he still held it over my head for years. hinting before my son’s every birthday or other gift-giving activities that might be the year the dance mat finds its new home this year .
His thought, which I took to heart and which I adhere to to this day, is that it is not at all cool to give an unpleasantly loud toy to another person’s child without explicit permission. I was reminded of this recently by Reddit user u / RivetJoint08 , who is also here to say it’s neither cute nor funny:
I am the father of a two year old boy. An absolutely cool, normal, ordinary two-year-old boy. His aunt gave him a quacking duck toy for his birthday a couple of months ago and was sincerely glad it would be an annoying and loud toy. The duck isn’t that bad. Today a family friend aunt gave our son a drum kit for Christmas. He’s 2 years old. He never showed interest in drumming. It’s annoying, it’s a waste of money, and he’s essentially asking me to take a piece of shit to Goodwill in a month. In both cases, the giver is either the parent of the babies or the future parent. Parents and friends of parents, if you want to buy a noisy gift in the form of a drum kit, check with your parents.
Years of fatherhood taught me a simple fact about musical toys made for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers: they often only have one volume setting, and that setting is Loud. (If it has two settings, they are “Loud” and “Absolutely fucking explosive.”) I have to believe that this is because young children have little attention and every toy wants to be one that picks up every possible detail. Attention.
(I suspect this is why some toys randomly play a melody in an empty room, even though no one is even looking in her direction; they cannot be ignored.)
If you are not a parent yet, you may not have been aware of this fact. You almost certainly underestimate the already increased volume level in a family with one or more young children. But from now on, you have to assume that any toy that makes a noise is actually making enough noise to wake the dead person up. Especially, especially if you buy this toy online and have not heard in person, step away from your shopping cart. Maybe pick a book instead – no, not books with noisy buttons you press, stop that!
There is another genre of toys that you absolutely need permission to purchase if you want to continue to maintain good relationships with your parents, as pointed out by u / RivetJoint08 . And this genre is toys from which you can compose music.
Years later, my son was given a small (but powerful) drum kit, a pair of real maracas, and a set of bells that ring in my ears when I think of them. (All from one person – a lucky person, I’m still talking to her.)
If you really want to get this cute little dog shaped guitar because 1) it is undeniably adorable, 2) you know a little kid will love it, and 3) you think your parents probably won’t mind, there is a simple solution : Ask your parents first. Even if they really don’t mind, they will appreciate your request.