Ask Your Child to Write a Letter to Himself After the Pandemic
The other day I was struck by the simplest desire before a pandemic: I would like to go out to eat with my husband and son. It’s not that I miss food a lot – we ate a lot of takeaway food and had a few outdoor dinners before winter came. The fact is that I lack the spontaneity, the ease with which we are used to making such decisions. One of us would say, “Would you like to go eat tonight?” and we’ll pull on our shoes and walk out the door, as if our lives weren’t hanging by a thread. How strange.
All of us, including – maybe especially – our children, have moments when we deeply miss things for which we would never have thought to be grateful before. Could teenagers have imagined how often they would miss school every day? Would it ever occur to a nine-year-old to be grateful for an impromptu tagging game with neighbors? Our kids have learned a lot this year about sacrifice and resilience in the most unfortunate way possible, but if we’re lucky, the experience might make them more grateful for the little things when we get to the other side of it.
Julia Cho and her daughter recently reflected on the same thing, as Cho writes in the New York Times :
My 12-year-old daughter Audrey told me recently on one of our many walks around the area that she would never forget this pandemic and that she never wanted to take it for granted having friends, visiting a large family, or hugging grandparents. again. However, she wondered if people would really live with the new appreciation. Will we forget everything in time? Will hugging or shaking hands be common again?
“Write down how you feel,” I suggested. Write it down for your future to remember.
This is what her daughter did. She wrote the most heartbreaking letter to herself since the pandemic ( from which you must read every word ); in it, she talks about masks and the increasing number of cases, as well as missing grandparents. She let her mom post it in the hopes that it might inspire other kids to do the same. It says, in part:
I am struggling and will do everything to get out of 2020 and this pandemic, in order to see my friends and family normally. You can do this. You have what I want so much. So please, I encourage you to enjoy your life, your friends, your family, your experiences.
Remember – everything is replaceable and unimportant, but people are the only thing that matters in this modern world.
She wishes herself not to forget that all these long months have ever happened, but to remember them more clearly. At 12, she’s already wise enough to know how quickly we adapt, and that if we can adapt to the hard, we can also adapt back to the lungs.
Now that we have entered a year in which we will (hopefully) return to normal life, it is high time for your children to sit down and write their own letter to themselves in the future. Encourage them to reflect on the big things they miss, like vacations and summer camps, but also the little things they had to give up this year, like swimming with friends in the summer or playing video games with their cousins on Thanksgiving.
It will help solidify what matters most to them and serve as a good reminder in the future when the pandemic finally dies down and they begin to forget how much we lost sight of the little things.
Maybe write it yourself and put them all to safety. Set yourself a reminder to take them out once a year, on New Years Eve, or for another special occasion, so you can jump back to a time when the thought of a simple family dinner at your favorite local diner hurts your heart.