How Has Your Upbringing Influenced Your Own Upbringing?
One of the universal truths of parenting is that at some point every parent will surely hear their parents’ words fly out of their mouths. “Because I said so, that’s why,” you might argue against a child who insists on more explanation than it should be, a phrase that, while infuriating when you take sides, seems reasonable when you give it out alone. 30 years later. Is it fair to do this? Maybe not, but as my father would say, life is not fair – and it is incredibly annoying when it is told to a person, as well as what I said to my son.
For better or worse, no matter what we think of our parents as children or later as adults, most of what we know about parenting comes from those who raised us . However, it may be interesting how this manifests itself in our own upbringing. We may try to imitate their patience or vow to scream less than they do. We may find ourselves subconsciously creating similar rules or traditions; or those of us who grew up in toxic households may actively try to raise children in exactly the opposite way.
This son of mine, now 10 years old, is at the age where he insists that when he has children of his own, he will let them do whatever they want.
“Everyone says so,” I told him. “But you’re going to be so strict. Probably stricter than me. “
“No,” he retorted. “I want them to be happy . I’m not going to make any rules. “
“You’ll have so many rules,” I replied with the same dry sense of humor with which I was raised. “How simple is the absolute mass of rules.”
Of course, I joked with him (or mostly joked). But I do think that it is true that, if they have their own children, then I will bring him up now, will affect the way he will have in the future.
How has this affected you as a parent? Do you notice that your mother’s voice is coming out of your own mouth more often than you would like? Do you strive to be like them – or not at all like them?
Let’s talk in the comments about how the way we were raised affects the way we raise our own children.