How to Glue It to Your Jerk Neighbor

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, finally. Wicked Week 2020 is approaching us on Lifehacker; a week in which all the morally questionable hacks that we wanted to write about throughout the year are fair game for one week. We need it. We deserve it .

I’m personally going to start this week with an idea from Jessica, a member of our Offspring Facebook group , who obviously understands the true essence of Evil Week:

Do you have a jerk neighbor you don’t like?

Take a short walk with the kids! Choose dandelion puffs while you’re on the go! Hold on to them until you reach your neighbor’s house, and then it’s time to make wishes! Rip through all the little dandelion seeds in your wacky neighbor’s house, and if you want all those seeds to land in his yard and sprout giant weeds, it could come true!

This is a fun family activity! You are walking (this is great). You spend time with your kids (this is so important). And you make wishes (now the main thing is optimism). They don’t know they are doing something a little wicked about the guy with 28 political signs in the backyard who continues to do what you can only imagine is super proliferation activities. No, they are just enjoying nature.

Interesting fact: each dandelion flower head can produce hundreds of seeds, which can be “ blown away by the wind or other physical ailments ”, which in this particular case are you.

You may have to play a long game on this one because while some dandelions bloom in the fall, most will arrive in May or June. But this moron will still be, and then you can put them on.

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