Talk to Your Boss About Burnout Before It Becomes an Emergency

Over the past few years, our culture has become much better at recognizing burnout at work. While that doesn’t necessarily mean we made the changes needed to address the root causes of burnout, even being able to tell when we hit that point (or are about to hit it) was a step in the right direction. … Many burnout strategies , including ours, are based on the importance of having mental health days when you need them.

And while you absolutely need to keep doing it, it’s time to go back even further and see what managing your mental health at work might look like in the long run. In other words, instead of waiting for your limit to talk to your boss about stress and burnout, it may be more beneficial to turn it into a constant conversation. Here’s how to do it in a way that is productive for both you and your employer.

Why make mental health a constant conversation with your employer?

Burnout is more than feeling overworked, and it can include many stressors, including those that are not directly related to your job. Right now, for example, besides doing your normal workload and other personal responsibilities like raising children or caring for, this is an incredibly stressful time to be human. Between the global pandemic and the upcoming elections , while continuing to grapple with centuries of systemic racism , financial instability and, in some places, literal fires , we are trying – and in many cases expected – to continue to produce work as if it were 2019.

But as Dr. Dion Metzger , a psychiatrist practicing in Atlanta, Georgia, notes, waiting to tackle our mental health at work until we hit a tipping point is a problem in and of itself. “We’re asking for a break after burnout episodes,” she tells Lifehacker. “Mental health days are really meant to prevent burnout.”

Julie Jensen, owner of Moxie HR Strategies , and 20-year veteran of the department staff , agrees, noting that the people may be hard to express fatigue or impending burnout, because they do not want to seem weak or unable to manage competing priorities and responsibilities. their work and personal life. “One thing I’ve learned over the years – and certainly saw from all the craziness of 2020 – is where the individual tipping points are,” she tells Lifehacker. “And they differ significantly from person to person.”

Jensen’s advice is that as soon as someone realizes that they are performing poorly and / or having difficulties with the job, the sooner they should talk to their line manager or HR. “Yes, it’s inconvenient,” she says, “but the consequences of inaction means that you will struggle longer or harder than necessary, and in the worst case, it can negatively affect decisions to continue your work.”

Make regular mental health check-ups with your boss

So what exactly will your boss’s regular mental health check-ups look like? When talking to his boss, Metzger recommends being frank; remember that mental health days are a necessity, not a luxury. “You could say that you feel like your tank is approaching point E,” she says. “The goal is to refuel before you run out of gas, or burn out. In fact, it takes much longer to recover from burnout than just refueling. It is in the best interest of companies to allow employees to undertake preventive mental health activities as it helps them morally and be productive in the long run. ” Here are some strategies to help you develop ongoing communication with your boss about your mental health.

Ask to schedule regular conversations

Dr. Jenny Yip , a clinical psychologist practicing in Los Angeles, recommends having periodic checks with your supervisor, whether monthly, bi-monthly, or quarterly. Yip says that if your boss doesn’t suggest doing it yourself, you can always ask if there is an opportunity to move on. “These checks are a time when you can discuss your workload, the resources you have, and any stressors affecting you and your work,” Yip says to Lifehacker, adding that they are especially important now, due to a pandemic, especially for many parents. who have to combine work from home with childcare.

Think of it as a way to become a more effective employee.

According to Yip, certain stressful factors in your life can affect your ability to do your job, and it’s important to keep your boss aware of these issues. She explains.

“Approach the conversation thinking about how you can best do your job and perform at its best, given what is currently happening in our world,” Yip advises. “It also indicates what is real, because we all have a set of ideals, so it is important to determine how realistic it is to achieve a goal or objectives within a given time frame.”

Come with potential solutions

Likewise, Jensen encourages employees to be honest, positive, and solution-oriented in their conversations with their boss. What would it look like? According to Jensen, it could be something like this: “It is very difficult for me to work from home while balancing the school needs of my children. The recent increase in my workload and limited company resources exacerbate my fatigue and stress. I am concerned about the impact this has – or maybe – on my work, in addition to how it affects my overall health and well-being. Can we talk about possible solutions that will help me succeed? »In other words, you are not just presenting a detailed list of complaints: you are also proposing possible solutions.

What should you tell your boss about your mental health?

This is where things can get complicated. How do you know how much to tell your boss about your mental health without revealing too much personal information? Here’s what the mental health and HR professionals have to offer.

Keep it flush with the surface

It would be nice to keep these conversations on a superficial level and just let your boss know that you are in trouble, Metzger said. “They don’t need to know the details of your stressors or the specific symptoms you are experiencing in order to be responsive to your needs,” she explains. “Be clear about what you need to do to reduce your workload or get a day off to maintain your mental health. No further details are required. “

Focus on how your mental health affects your work, in particular

Laura Hendrick, a HR professional with over 20 years of experience, says she is most impressed by the people who speak openly about their mental health and busily explain where they can get support. But it’s also important to know what is appropriate to discuss at work and what might be outside of the box.

“Honestly talking about your mental health problems means sharing the basics about your condition and how it affects you at work,” says Hendrik, who also writes for Therapy Choice . “Redistribution of information details how it affects non-work issues, such as your sex life, that no one at work wants to know about.”

Think about your purpose and why you are having this conversation.

Trying to pinpoint what needs to be disclosed to a manager or HR employee, Yip says it’s important to keep your goal in mind when talking. “Whatever you share, know that you intend to share that specific information,” she explains. “Before sharing, ask yourself,“ Is this work-related or am I making up my mind to do this? “You don’t need to tell your employer all the details of your personal life, but you can say that” this and that is adding stress to my life right now. “

Remember that what you share is up to you.

As Jensen points out, each employee must determine how much health information they share with their employer. “They protect privacy rights with regard to health issues, and for this reason, I usually recommend that employees control how much they share, and I always tell executives not to look out for too much personal information,” she explains.

For example, if you need to take a personal vacation, shorten hours of work, leave with a short-term disability, or have a mental or medical condition protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act, Jensen says these issues should be addressed in full confidence with human resources. … “A high performing HR department acts as an advocate for the employee’s interests and also mediates with the employee’s manager to balance business needs with employee needs, personal privacy and legal rights,” she notes.

What about racism as a stressor?

Not all managers are aware of the impact of stressors, such as systemic racism or collective trauma, that many people of color typically experience on their employees, beyond the normal work stress of being productive during a pandemic and especially an unsettling pre-election season. On the one hand, Metzger notes that “employers have become more aware of the psychological burden in communities of color over the past year.” But this does not necessarily mean that they have addressed this issue.

If there is a racial problem in your workplace, Metzger advises employees to address it immediately. “The first step to change is awareness,” she explains. “People can’t change what they don’t know about, especially when it comes to micro-aggression.”

But if the source of stress is not in the workplace, Metzger recommends using the same approach as when requesting a mental health day, and specifying details only based on your comfort level. “In today’s environment, employers are aware of the trauma and injustice that people of color have experienced just this year,” she says. “As with symptoms and other stressors, you don’t have to tell your employer that your reservoir is draining, you just need to stop and refuel.”

Should employees be concerned about any consequences if they report mental health concerns to their supervisor?

In an ideal world, we would not need to worry about the consequences of discussing mental health issues with our boss or their HR representative. But in fact, there is something to think about. “Unfortunately, too many corporate cultures and leaders lack empathy or basic caring and concern for people,” says Jensen.

According to Hendrick, the company’s reaction may depend on its size. “Larger firms are subject to anti-discrimination laws, but the smallest firms – think Mom and Dad – no one looks over their shoulder to make sure they are treating their mentally ill workers fairly under the US Disability Act,” Hendrick explains. … As a result, at the larger firm, she says you are “safe” by reporting your mental health concerns to HR and her manager after you are hired, while asking for reasonable accommodations to ensure that you can do your job. work.

But Hendrick says that in a small firm, you may be more at risk of disclosing such concerns, since ADA does not apply to companies with fewer than 15 employees . “If you tell your employer that you need two hours a week of free time to take your child to therapy, they may deny it, calling it a business challenge,” she explains. “If you mentioned that you are afraid to close the office alone because of your anxiety, they may fire you if the closure is part of your job.”

After all, if anyone works in one of these toxic cultures, Jensen says, they really need to be aware of the possible consequences. On the other hand, they also need to be familiar with state and federal employment laws that have been enacted to protect people from discrimination, retaliation, and other negative and illegal consequences that may occur. Of course, this does not mean that you should not discuss mental health issues with your employer – it is more a case of realizing the full range of potential results.

How can we constantly take care of our mental health?

Despite the fact that we have been told and even encouraged to take care of our own mental health, this in itself can be a problem for people if they do not know where to start. “Some people may experience symptoms of professional burnout, aggravated by increased stress due COVID, elections and other social events, but do not know what to do with it”, – said Dr. Adam L. Freed , a clinical psychologist practicing in This Lifehacker tells Phoenix and Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Midwestern University . “One thing I’ve noticed is the reluctance of people who are experiencing burnout to take a break to take care of their mental health because they believe that stressors will still be there when they return, and that a day or two they will win the break. ” t help. “

Again, the key here is constantly working with your mental health rather than waiting until things get really bad before bringing it up at work, or even admitting it yourself. For example, Freed advises his clients to spend time trying to focus their energy and attention in an enjoyable activity – something that he says can often help reduce stress and help focus.

But for those who may not be in mental space, coming up with a strategy or action that might benefit their mental health can be difficult or even overwhelming to come up with a plan. If you fall into that category, Freed suggests figuring out what you’ll be doing on your perfect or perfect day – from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. The trick is to only include activities that you find relaxing and enjoyable. So, for example, if you want to have a day to catch up on business, that’s okay and completely understandable, but the goal here is to find something that will actively reduce your stress levels (which is also realistic to do during a global pandemic).

If the anticipation of what might happen if you took a break from work prevents you from actually taking that step, Freed suggests rethinking your approach and expectations. “I am aware of the concern [of clients] that taking a break will not necessarily eliminate their stressors, but I stress that taking the time to relax can sometimes give them the energy and focus to better deal with them. “