The Adult’s Guide to Child Culture
The world of young people can be confusing and annoying, so let me help you understand their lives with a weekly guide to what happens to these damn kids. (Stay away from my lawn.)
Back to School: Return of Zoom Bombing
The Zoom explosion was first reported in the early days of national isolation, but will return in the fall semester. It works like this: Because Zoom allows anyone on a teleconference to invite someone else with a password, class clowns can summon trolls to spice up boring classes by shouting ethnic insults , spamming pornography, and otherwise shitting.
This trend is especially fun for kids because Zoom provides security measures that allow a moderator or teacher to easily control who is admitted into the classroom, but it seems like many teachers aren’t tech-savvy enough to know how to use them.
Internet Danger of the Week: Benadryl’s Problem
The danger this week comes from the depths of TikTok, where some users of the hugely popular video-sharing service are reportedly daring to take part in the Benadryl Challenge. Competition? Take as much Benadryl as you have hallucinations. (As we mentioned earlier, you must warn your children about this .)
They say it takes about a dozen allergy pills to start seeing things, and that dose can also lead to seizures, heart toxicity, and death. According to Newsweek , the 15-year-old from Oklahoma has already died of the meme.
While kids encouraging other kids to abuse the available substances are nothing new – I mean, who doesn’t remember some loader urging you to spray paint under the bleachers? – adding virality to TikTok makes it quite intimidating. As such, parents should monitor their allergy medication until it goes away and either educate their kids about the dangers of overdosing Benadryl or explain the superiority of natural hallucinogens like peyote, depending on your parenting style.
Viral Video of the Week: The Sad Story of Dylan Harraway
Virginia resident Dylan Harraway starred in a viral video this week, but would probably wish he didn’t. The 18-year-old aspiring rapper gave $ 200 to a local tattoo artist to get the “Dream Chaser” tattooed on his arm, but quickly realizes that “Resahc Maerd” was written instead: the tattoo artist wrote it the other way around.
“Now I can only read it through a mirror and people can’t see it,” Harraway laments in a video that has over 2.5 million views on social media.
However, the story has a happy ending. Famous tattoo artist Keith Scott “Bang Bang” McCurdy (he drew tattoos on Rihanna, Justin Bieber and many others) offered to hide the tattoo for free.
This Week On TV: Cobra Kai Never Dies!
If you’re looking for something to watch with your kids, watch the new Netflix series Cobra Kai . The original episode aired on YouTube Premium, where it became a cult hit before Netflix acquired the rights, and the two-season comedy / drama is perfect for watching in family quarantine. This is a sequel to the 1984 film Karate Kid , which stars most of the original cast, but is told from the perspective of Johnny Lawrence, the kid who lost the climatic karate fight with Daniel-san in the film. Johnny, now in his 50s, is practically stuck in the 80s after that fateful fight at the All Valley Karate Championship, but the master alcoholic is taking one last chance at redemption by reopening the Cobra Kai dojo for today’s kids. …
While seniors will love the amazing 80s nods and soundtrack, this isn’t just a nostalgic ride. Theteen is the romance and school drama of young talented performers a little unpleasant if you’re over 18, but kids will love her Degrassi dojo style and should be totally put up with it because of William Zabka’s performance. Camaro driving, middle-aged walking bandage. (Maybe you can tell.)
What’s Happening in Music: VMA Awards
Considering everything that happens in the world, you can be forgiven for not knowing that the MTV Video Music Awards recently took place. Like everything else these days, it was … weird. Without a live audience, the performances were pre-filmed videos, and while the host, Keke Palmer, did a great job, the show really lacked those famous unrecorded moments like Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift’s opening speech.
Lady Gaga won the Tricon award, but the kids were probably more interested in sensational K-Pop BTS, who received awards for Best Pop, Best Group, Best K-Pop and Best Choreography. I don’t know A-Pop from K-Pop, but these guys blew up the show with their performance:
For nerds: video game week
If it’s not canceled for 2020, Christmas is approaching, and with it a slew of highly anticipated video games. The big release this week is Marvel’s Avengers . Launched on PlayStation, Xbox One and PC , the superhero game has received critical reviews for its single-player campaign and “ah … it’s okay” for its multiplayer game.
In the alternate universe of Nintendo games, The Big N has announced that Super Mario 3D All-Stars will release on Nintendo Switch on September 18th. The release contains switched versions of three of Mario’s most iconic 3D platformers, Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy . I beat Super Mario 64 in my day and am eager to see my 13-year-old struggle with strange controls. Sure, he smokes me on every shooter released since Doom , but he can’t handle that damn Tick Tock Clock level.