How to Distinguish Constructive Criticism From Bullying
In the midst of “cultural abolition” and living in a highly politically polarized society, it is not uncommon to get feedback from other people. In fact, even the term “feedback” seems euphemistic given that there are so many exchanges right now – whether on social media or in person – can be hot (to put it mildly). And while it is usually frustrating to hear that you are doing something wrong and / or can improve the situation, there is a difference between receiving constructive criticism from someone and bullying. Our fragile egos can turn even mild criticism into a personal attack, but that’s not necessarily what happens. So what is the difference between constructive criticism and intimidation? Here are some information that might help.
Constructive criticism against bullying
Before we go any further, let’s talk about the definitions of both terms. Here’s how Maham Barbar explains it in an article for ARY News :
“Constructive criticism is the process of offering well thought out comments about the work of others so that they can recognize their strengths and weaknesses, which helps them improve in the future.
Bullying is unwanted aggressive behavior that is used to exploit someone. This behavior is repetitive and can affect a person’s physical and mental health. “
When distinguishing between the two – whether it is the person receiving or giving feedback – Barbar suggests a few things we need to keep in mind:
The words
Yes, the choice of words matters. Constructive criticism usually includes at least a few words of encouragement, since the idea is to help someone become better. Bullying, on the other hand, can include derogatory remarks and focusing only on weaknesses.
Tone
It’s much easier to do this in person than on Twitter or in the comment section, but tone can also mean the difference between well-meaning reviews and outright bullying. According to Barbara, being polite is one way to prevent aggression (unless it’s sarcastic).
Keep it short
Nobody wants to hear someone talk about their shortcomings – even in a very polite tone – so if you give someone constructive criticism, state your point of view, but don’t hit a dead horse. Once you’ve got your point across, move on.
In the same vein, Barbara advises only constructively criticizing what is truly under the person’s control. “Criticizing someone for not being able to change and then leaving them makes them feel helpless, and this is actually a form of intimidation,” she writes. But if you talk about where things can be improved, the conversation can become motivating.