Are You Still Trying to Conceive During a Pandemic?

Deciding when to try to conceive can be difficult, even at the best of times. Are you confident that you are truly financially prepared, even if your job is stable? Even if you want to wait a little longer, is your age starting to creep in enough to worry that your window might close? How about the age gap between siblings, parental leave too short, and childcare costs too high? Now let’s add the global health crisis to that and see how we feel.

Whether trying to get pregnant at this particularly difficult moment in time is a topic I’ve seen discussed in parenting groups, and I’ve wrestled with it in published essays as it becomes clearer and clearer that the pandemic we’re facing won’t go away in a couple of years. days. weeks or even months.

Stephanie Land writes for the Washington Post that after a recent miscarriage ahead of the pandemic, she can’t decide whether to try again:

Remembering my meditative moment, how we were both so full of hope, sitting in this dark room, holding hands and laughing nervously, I can see how different things would be. My husband would not be on the ultrasound. Personal meetings with my doctor may not even be possible. The stakes for an easy and healthy pregnancy will be much higher. All the tests that we wanted because of our age might have been considered unnecessary. I would probably try to find a midwife who could help with home birth.

All land points are valid. What state will our hospitals and healthcare workers be in nine months from now? We do not know. Will only one support person be allowed with you during labor? Or are there no support people? We do not know. How will this affect antenatal care and appointments in the coming weeks and months?

It will most likely depend on where you live, how effective social distancing has been, whether we see another big wave of infections and the policies of your specific doctors and hospitals, not to mention your personal situation or medical needs.

I began researching this topic in the hopes of giving prospective parents-to-be with solid advice on whether to move on or pause in their family-building plans. But even the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has nothing to offer in the form of recommendations:

This is a personal choice. You can make a decision based on your health, potential COVID-19 risks and other factors.

Researchers are still studying how COVID-19 affects pregnant women. Current reports show that pregnant women do not have more severe symptoms than the general public. But people with certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, lung disease, or heart disease, have a higher risk of severe illness from COVID-19.

Based on current research, it is unlikely that COVID-19 is transmitted to the fetus during pregnancy, labor and delivery. But more research is needed on this. After birth, a newborn can contract the virus if exposed.

Talk to your obstetrician / gynecologist or other healthcare professional about how this might affect your pregnancy and childbirth while COVID-19 spreads.

It’s not particularly helpful, but it’s the best the experts have to offer right now, given how much we don’t know or can’t predict yet. And the information is changing so fast that the New York Times is constantly updating this article on pregnancy and coronavirus by least output of new research or announcements of new recommendations. Even so, they cannot promise that the information is always up to date.

I asked the parents on our Offspring Facebook group how they approached this solution, and unsurprisingly, the responses ranged from those who put their attempts on hold indefinitely to those who wait to see what the next couple of months bring to those who are going ahead with their plans and hope for the best.

Allison says she’s waiting to see how things look over the next few months, especially as the pandemic can add additional stress to pregnancy:

“We were planning to try # 2 soon, but we’re going to wait a few months and see where everything will be by summer,” she says. “Hopefully by then we will know more about the virus and how to deal with it. I think pregnancy is already stressful, but add all these new stresses to that and it can’t be good for mom or baby. “

Michelle, who has always wanted a second child and has had two miscarriages in the past six months, says her doctor hasn’t raised any objections to her continuing attempts to conceive:

“When I was pregnant before my miscarriage in March, I worried about getting pregnant during the pandemic,” she says. “But now that we’ve gotten used to the routine of working at home with a 2.5 year old and no end in sight, I’m quietly trying to conceive and just taking precautions to prevent COVID-19.”

In addition, there are parents who need fertility treatment in order to have a better chance of conceiving – many had to postpone their appointments indefinitely in order to start new treatment cycles. Or others, such as Robin, who agree with the idea that giving up trying “for the moment” can actually end “forever”:

“We had to start retrying in June as a final try (I’m 42),” says Robin. “I can’t imagine going to an obstetrician’s appointment or giving birth next year … So maybe we’ll only have one child left?”

And finally, there are those, like Kerry, who after weeks of isolation at home with children, that they have said: “I would like to have three children, but now that we are all the time at home with two, I’m not. Certainly.”

This is a personal decision with no clear or “right” answer. Are you postponing temporarily or indefinitely? Are you moving forward because either time is of the essence, or because potential changes in prenatal care, childbirth and childbirth are something you are willing to risk or accept?

Tell us in the comments: How do you and your partner decide whether to try to conceive right now?