How to Deal With Child Care During a Pandemic
Co-parenting with an ex can be challenging during normal times; Parenting together, when the very transfer of your children could mean for them (or you) being infected with the coronavirus, is a whole new level of testing.
Rarely is a custody agreement that includes provisions for navigating a parenting plan during a pandemic, yet we are ordered to physically distance ourselves from others as much as possible, and in some areas stay at home altogether. So when you say, “Enough, the kids stay here for a while, and I don’t care if you don’t like it”?
Florida family law attorney Ken Gordon of Brinkley Morgan says none of the 25 lawyers at his firm actually started writing to parent plans on how to handle custody during the COVID-19 pandemic. However, in some cases – especially in cases that are still in their early stages and may only have interim court orders – things start to escalate.
“The line between rational and irrational decisions is blurry,” says Gordon.
Can you isolate yourself with your child?
Parents across the country wake up every day and wonder if they should travel with their child to visit the other parent, or if the child should come and go from home to home even in the same area. Residents in many areas were ordered to “take shelter in place” or stay at home except on important walks. But does a parental visit qualify as “necessary”?
“Let’s say Mom (or Dad) says,“ I have kids, I watch the news and I think the pandemic is serious, and I prefer to take shelter in place, ”says Gordon. “Well (if you are the second parent), what are you going to do?”
According to him, the most rational answer is probably … nothing. The police are unlikely to be involved in a custody dispute – they will tell you to resolve any issues through the judicial system. And you can call your lawyer and try to have a hearing, but like everything else, the courts mostly use virtual hearings, which are difficult to coordinate and therefore hard to find.
And when all this is over, Gordon considers it unlikely that a parent who decides to take refuge with his children, keeping them at a physical distance from the other parent, will be disrespectful to any court. -order agreement, which was previously concluded.
“Contempt for them … means they must deliberately disobey a court order,” he says. “At this time, when the pandemic and everyone is breaking down, it’s only reasonable that people would be really upset or worried … So to prove that they acted dismissively, well, well, good luck.”
But he says it must be remembered, especially for parents who are still in the process of finalizing a parental agreement, that while they may not be considered disrespectful to a court order in this situation, their behavior will be noticed at times like this. by the court.
Focus on your child’s best interests
Of course, even if you choose to hide with your child, this does not mean that the parent should use this as an opportunity to limit all contact with the other parent. If shelter seems necessary where you live, you should make every effort to ensure that the other parent can communicate frequently by phone and video chat.
“Filter out any decisions you try to make as a co-parent through the filter, ‘I say I’m child-centered,’” he says.
It’s time to be patient, realize that tension can build up, and try to get through this unusual time without further reinforcing any pre-existing hostility.
“It’s kind of like a wild west, and unfortunately there will be a lot of people taking advantage of the situation,” says Gordon. “But they may think they are doing the right thing.”
In fact, there are no hard and fast rules about what to do here, and when they decide that any contact with anyone – else, including the other parent is too frequent contact. But now is the time to dig deeper and become the best co-founder you can be, be it the one who is at home with the kids or the one who ends up out of the house.