How to Convince Parents and Grandparents of the Danger of Coronavirus
The past few weeks have been a tough time for everyone as we deal with the coronavirus pandemic. But for many people (including me), some of the most stressful moments came from discussing COVID-19 with our parents, grandparents and other older relatives. Of course, there are some who took it seriously from the start and followed all the directives, but many others range from exaggeration to overtly aggressive.
Why Some Older People Don’t Take COVID-19 Seriously
Whether they are misinformed about the severity of this outbreak (perhaps they get their news from sources like Fox News or Rush Limbaugh ), denying it because they cannot deal with the stress of the pandemic or are well aware of how serious it is. But to behave as if everything is in order to protect their children, there are a number of scenarios that lead to unpleasant conversations, – psychiatrist Zlatin Ivanov tells Lifehacker. Others believe it is “just another virus”, comparable to the annual strain of influenza, and because they have survived previous viruses, they feel safe from it.
In addition, the coronavirus outbreak may not seem dangerous to some people because the public is not yet undergoing massive lockdowns, says physician Virginia Thornley , M.D.
“We see school closings, mass events [and] events with more than 250 [people], but this does not completely limit the spread if there are already infected people walking around us,” she explains. “Until there is a massive isolation, most people are likely to go about their day to day. Some will cut their working hours, others will continue to do what they usually do. ”
“And regardless of age, the human brain has a hard time understanding exponential growth,” explains Shuhan He, MD , an emergency room physician at Harvard General Hospital, Massachusetts. “People just can’t figure out that everything was fine yesterday, then 24 hours later, all major sports are canceled, and after five days the whole society is suddenly shutting down,” he tells Lifehacker. “We find it difficult to cope with any change that is incredibly slow (global warming) and incredibly fast (COVID).”
According to Dr. Keith Jansen , associate professor of psychology at Midwestern University and health expert, conversations about health are often difficult, and recent events have made those conversations all the more difficult. “When you think about effective communication skills and theories of health-related behavior change, there are several ways you can be more effective when talking to an older loved one about their well-being,” she says. To help you prepare for these difficult conversations with some of the older people in your life, here are some tips from mental health professionals on how to get the job done (ideally without yelling and emotional breakdowns).
Avoid using the words “elderly” or “vulnerable”.
One of the reasons our more mature populations may not take this outbreak seriously is because they watch the news and see that it affects the “elderly” or “vulnerable.” But it will be difficult for you to find someone, regardless of age, who falls into any of these groups. The same applies to the “weak” or “frail”. Therefore, when they hear about how COVID-19 is affecting people falling into these categories, there is a good chance that they will immediately ignore this information.
Instead, focus on accurate data that relate to actual age (such as numbers), rather than using terms like “elderly” and “vulnerable”. It is also helpful to mention that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have tested positive . Hanks, 63, somehow manages to be both mature and respected while maintaining his youthful demeanor. He’s also rich and has access to all the best, so pointing out that even he and Wilson have the virus could put things in perspective.
Convince them that you can stay connected with technology
If your parents / grandparents, etc. have an iPhone or iPad, encourage them to FaceTime with you and their friends. The idea of social isolation can scare them (and indeed anyone), so if they can see other people it can help. If they don’t have Apple products, please tell me how to download Skype and use it instead.
Another option is the Connected Living app , which has features like creating a private social network for family and friends. It can also track someone’s movements. “If you notice a family member’s activity level is dropping, or is not interacting on the social feed, or is in a public place that is likely crowded, you can help redirect your family member – regardless of whether he / she is elderly. person or teenager, says Lifehacker Sarah Hoyt, CEO of Connected Living . “It was used as an opportunity to communicate more and be present with each other, and it was created before this outbreak began.”
Hear their fears
This is important in any communication, but it is especially important when talking to people about COVID-19. “I think I have something to say to listen to people and try to capture their fears,” he explains. “Look, I’m a doctor in a large hospital affiliated with Harvard University, one of the leading institutions in the world. My whole life is about talking about disclaimers, using jargon and technical terms because we always want to be technically correct. But it’s not so good when it comes to changing the behavior of ordinary people. ” Instead of just chatting with people and explaining all the reasons why they are wrong, ask them about their problems and reach out to everyone as much as possible. This way, you can hone what is most relevant to them.
“Often, in high-stakes communications, we become so focused on our own message and concerns that we forget to listen to the other person,” says Jansen. “As you listen to their thoughts, periodically repeat their messages to them. For example, if they say, “I feel good, you have nothing to worry about,” or something like that, they reflect their main thought: “You are feeling good now, so it doesn’t seem like the reason. worry.’ This method allows the other person to know that you’ve heard and understood their point of view before, ”explains Jansen. “When we feel heard, we are more open to listening.”
Use facts and figures
Since COVID-19 is caused by a new strain of coronavirus, it can be difficult for anyone other than parents and grandparents to understand what this means. As a doctor in the emergency room, he answers many questions about this strain of coronavirus and says he is trying to attach to what we already know and paint a picture. He usually says the following:
“We now have a virus that spreads like a cold but is deadly like a heart attack. The death rate from coronavirus and heart attack is basically the same: 15 percent for everyone over 55. While we can delve into all the technical details, this is what all previous experience and data shows us. It is important that they take it seriously. “
If you use facts and advice from places like the Centers for Disease Control ( CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) or local health departments, you will need to read them first. And if you need help deciphering everything that’s out there and separating fact from fiction, Lifehacker has an entire coronavirus section detailing the outbreak and ways to make your life a little easier during this challenging time.
Focus on helping others
Sometimes it’s difficult to make changes just for ourselves, but when we consider our actions in relation to how they will affect other people – especially when dealing with parents, grandparents and elderly loved ones – it can be more effective. “Often times, the message about how they are helping others is easier to accept,” Jansen says. “For example, explaining that they are at increased risk of infection can make your loved one get distracted – the ‘you don’t need to worry about me’ mindset – while messages about helping others can bring about change more effectively, such as saying ‘we want preserve your health so as not to accidentally transmit the virus to your friends / grandchildren / spouse. “
Think about the details
In such a conversation, all parties involved can easily feel overwhelmed. Instead of trying to discuss everything in one conversation, focus on one specific thing that you want your loved one to change. “Pick the behavior that matters most and leave the rest for a while,” Jansen says. “[Saying]“ I’d love if you would let me deliver groceries for the next two weeks instead of forcing you to go to the store, ”is much easier to accept than a detailed list of the ways you want them changed their lives. “
Go on and express your love
After the conversation, Jansen said, follow up and see how they are doing, whether changes have been made or if they are in a place where they are more likely to hear your concerns. “At the end of the day, the key to success is maintaining a strong relationship and showing affection.”