Dinner Alone Is the Best
I really enjoy sharing food with other people, but I am also passionate and do not apologize for having dinner alone. According to the numerous articles written on this topic, the main problem facing a solitary meal is social anxiety, embarrassment and shame. As someone who has never experienced this last emotion, I feel uniquely qualified to tell you that no one judges you for eating alone, and the staff don’t feel bad about you, so get it all out of your free space. Restaurants are businesses that need your money, and one person’s money is still legal tender. However, there are several strategies I have developed to get the best possible solo dining experience.
Don’t take the book
Many articles on this topic recommend that you grab a book to keep you company, and frankly, it’s a little offensive. This implies that you are not the best company for yourself, but it is even more wrong. Reading is incompatible with food, either structurally or spiritually. Beyond the physical strength of trying to do both at the same time – just try chopping a pork chop while holding a book! Impossible to do! – books and food are two things you should immerse yourself in, and combining them gives two mediocre experiences instead of one great one. Plus, getting food from a book that isn’t a cookbook is disgusting.
Get a tasting menu
A common impulse when dining alone is to become smaller and less intrusive. This usually means it takes up less space (which you are already doing because it’s just you), but it can also mean that you are ordering small, meek menu items that won’t draw attention to you, or – God forbid – that that you yourself. I say damn it. Get a tasting menu.
The tasting menu is a fun group activity; It’s fun to take apart each dish and rate your favorites, but even better, just enjoy your meal intuitively without comment. (There is a reason I will never go into restaurant criticism; forced critical thinking robs any activity of pleasure.) Menu tasting is an art, often a very expensive art, and art is sometimes best absorbed in distracting chatter.
If your chosen restaurant doesn’t have a tasting menu, it’s okay – just order a snack with your meal along with any soup or salad you like. Snacks are clearly not meant to be shared harmoniously, or restaurants would make sure that there is an even number of edible items on the plate. Don’t worry about ordering “too much food.” The worst thing that can happen is that you have leftover food.
Sit at the bar
The bar is a great place to enjoy a meal for two. It’s easy to grab your waiter’s attention, your drink will always be full, and you can easily follow pairing guidelines. Sometimes – and I can’t promise that this will happen – the bartender can give you something interesting to try, a drink they made by mistake, or the last bite of a bottle that isn’t enough for a full glass. They will sometimes talk to you, but not too much, because they are at work.
However, don’t expect the bartender to be your date. Talking a little here and there is okay, but let them control the amount of chatter because – say it with me now – they work. Also, if they feel like they’re flirting and you feel compelled to take a step, consider being nice is part of their job and then don’t.
Enjoy not sharing
Even if sharing food is one of your love languages, sometimes it’s nice to have your own and yours alone. With more and more restaurants shifting to “family style” and “shared platters,” being able to eat your entire meal without interruption or — pah — per serving is a joy. This is especially true for dessert. Sharing dessert is an overrated activity.