How to Know If Your Child Is Ready to Use a Smartphone
It started at my home towards the end of the last school year. I knew it was coming, but I was still surprised to learn that it happened in the second grade and age eight. When can I get my mobile phone? This year, third grade and nine-year-olds are asked a little more often, and it is now accompanied by a list of classmates who have their own phones (or who claim to have their own phones, which I think is the most appropriate option.) ). case).
My son will not receive a smartphone this year. But as he gets older, I begin to realize that this is an important milestone that is not far off in the future. Now he is old enough for us to take him to soccer practice and not just stay to watch / watch. He’s getting close to making his way to a couple of friends’ houses on his own. And at some point in the future, I would like to be able to leave him at home alone (no landline phone) while I’m running on a small errand.
I am beginning to realize that the cell phone in his hand, exciting him, will mean a little more peace of mind to me. So I started thinking more about how I would know when the time was right.
Before I dive in, however, I’ll mention that while I’m going to focus here mainly on smartphones – because that’s really what they want – you certainly don’t need to start there. If you have a child who, for one reason or another, would benefit from having a telephone (for example, you have partial custody and want to be able to contact him while he is with the other parent), but he is not ready for this. smartphone, there are also “dumb” options. It is essentially just a glorified walkie-talkie and this little flip phone was the best choice for kids for beginners.
But if you’re going to jump straight to a smartphone (or are thinking of upgrading from whatever stupid phone they have now), here are some things to keep in mind.
Responsibility> age
On this topic, my son often asks the following question: “How old do I have to be before I can get a phone?” He really wants to know how much time is spent without a phone in his future. But, as I told him, it’s not so much about age as about “readiness.” For me this means the following:
- Do they take care of their things? The way a child handles other things is a pretty good indicator of how they will handle their cell phone. Do they still leave water bottles, umbrellas and gloves at school twice a week? (Not that you necessarily let them take their phone to school, but it’s still some idea of ​​how much you can trust them to keep track of these damn things.)
- Do they follow other family screen time rules? Are you already afraid that they are spending too much time on the tablet? Do they sneak in front of the screen when they have to do their homework? Is it still a struggle to turn off the TV in order to come to the dining table? Then you probably don’t want to add another device to the mix.
- Are they showing growing independence in other areas? Independence can mean different things to different children, but a child who does his chores around the house, keeps his room decent and does housework without being reminded becomes a child who becomes more self-sufficient. This self-sufficiency is an indication of the maturity that you would probably like to see before giving away a smartphone.
- Are they showing common sense? All children (and adults) make mistakes, but is your child generally making the right choices? Or are you constantly wondering what the hell they were thinking ? The answer will tell a lot about their smartphone readiness.
Devorah Heitner, author of Screenwise: Helping Children Grow (and Survive) in a Digital World , writes for the Washington Post that parents should also consider how their children manage their social relationships:
Can they get away from the evil child or are they constantly drawn into conflicts? Children who have shown that they particularly crave peer approval will require close attention in the early years of using the phone. Don’t do this until you’re ready.
Setting boundaries with peers is something they can work on with the help of their parents. Look for signs of empathy in their relationship. Does your child seem to understand the effect of his words on others? Do they apologize when they hurt someone’s feelings? Self-reflection and trying to fix things are good signs that kids can fix their mistakes.
Consider their circumstances
Not all childhoods are created equal; The specific structure of your child’s life can determine how much a smartphone is needed at a given age. For example, a child living in a large city may benefit from having GPS and the Internet to help them navigate at an earlier age than a suburban child who uses regular car sharing.
If they are involved in a lot of hobby groups and activities after class, a smartphone can also be useful to track their location if your wires cross and they can check your location if your opening hours change and you are sometimes late. collecting them.
Are you ready for this?
Great, you’ve made your decision! They are smartphone ready! Now you just need to buy one (or reactivate the old one) and transfer it and you’re done! It would be nice, but no. Much of the equation — working with them to establish ground rules and boundaries — requires your attention before they even grab onto the phone. If life is busy or stressful for you right now, it is best to wait until you are really ready to help them with it.
Heithner explains in the Post :
It is important to establish ground rules and work with your child. Discuss and review each app before downloading it, and discuss how to carefully add contacts. Who is on the list of approved to send text messages? Peers, family members, extended family – this helps to clearly define some of the guidelines. And set expectations for access. Will this device live, for example, in your child’s room for the night? These are the discussions that need to be held before handing over the phone.
Their smartphone use is bound to be an ongoing conversation at home, so make sure you’re ready for the final decision, too.