How to Introduce Your Child to the Wild World of Social Media
One of the biggest challenges in parenting is teaching our children to safely do things that might harm them. It starts by teaching them how to use scissors safely in preschool age, then with sharp knives to cut their food, and before we learn how to drive a car. We don’t like it, but we do it because we know the alternative – that they do these things without even learning how to do it safely under our guidance – is much worse.
Whether we like it or not, our children will grow up and use the Internet with all its potential cyberbullying threats, fake news, and disturbing content. We can forbid them all this while they are still children, teenagers and teenagers; or we can teach them how to safely use social media and, more broadly, the Internet.
Remember when we thought Stranger Danger made sense?
We taught children not to talk to strangers. A stranger can hurt you! A stranger might kidnap you! Strangers are dangerous. But then we realized that we were talking to strangers all day – with the owner of the restaurant, the clerk at the post office, with the woman in front of us in line at the grocery store. We were a walking controversy.
Only a very small percentage of strangers are dangerous, and these people exhibit behaviors that can tell us about this fact. And in fact, a child is much more likely to be harmed by someone they know rather than a stranger. That’s why we started teaching our children ” tricky people ” instead.
Likewise, we can think of strangers on the net. Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at Common Sense Media , writes for the Washington Post that it’s better to teach our kids to recognize predatory behavior than to teach them not to talk to strangers online at all:
In today’s world where children as young as 8 are interacting with people on the Internet, they need to know the line between appropriate and inappropriate conversation. Friends often force children to talk about sex, so it’s okay for them to tell their peers to back off. Go beyond the “alien danger” and teach them what questions are not acceptable (for example, unacceptable: “Are you a boy or a girl?”; “Where do you live?”; “What are you wearing?”; “Do you want to talk in private?”) …
What is the right age?
As with everything else, specific age matters less than your child’s maturity and readiness level. There is no one-size-fits-all rule here. “But everyone in my class has a profile!” will never be a good argument for letting them go to an unfamiliar social network. Not all apps are the same, so you should research this before agreeing to anything.
At a minimum, you should check the rules set by the app itself and insist (and make sure) they use the correct birthday when creating your account. Some apps, like TikTok and YouTube Kids , offer different options for different age groups. But it’s important to note that sometimes babies who are too young are still welcomed in the app’s rules; so the second place to get advice is Common Sense Media .
Common Sense Media provides its own reviews and age guidelines for apps and games. In addition, both children and adults can check if the media is age-appropriate. Unsurprisingly, adults tend to think that the user’s age should be older, and the opinion of children should be younger. And Common Sense Media itself usually makes the most conservative recommendations.
For example, to play Fortnite, kids say users must be 10, parents 11, and Common Sense Media 13. Reviews can help you determine why an app is being rated in a certain way and whether it might be yours. the child is individually ready for.
It’s okay to say no.
If you are not going to let them log in, explain to them why. My son is 9 years old, and he is not yet on any social networks. However, he often asks me to download new games that he heard about from friends at school. I have a standard answer that he expects and accepts: “Let me do a little research and I’ll let you know later today or tomorrow.”
If the answer ends in no, which is most often the case, I tell him why. “No; I found there might be some videos that might seem intimidating or overwhelming to you.” Or, “No, the app does a poor job of weeding out people who only go there to say bad things.”
Is he satisfied with the “no”? No, it’s not. But even the process of making my decisions helps him prepare for the day when he will have to decide what is acceptable or tolerable for him.
When they’re ready, ease them.
You won’t take your kid onto the freeway the first time he gets behind the wheel, nor should you sign him up for any social media app he yearns for and then leave him to drive it. Be Internet Awesome is a great place to get started with concepts like spam, phishing, privacy, and sharing.
Once you learn how to create an account for them, sit down and agree to some of the family’s “terms of use.” These terms, which you can set out in writing, may include your expectations about how they will use the site, such as the amount of time they spend on the site, how they use it, and how they will report inappropriate images, messages or comments. … You should also indicate to what extent you will control their use.
Then create an account together and sit next to them as they navigate through it for the first few times. Laura Higgins, director of digital courtesy at Roblox , suggests looking for good things , such as pointing out bad behavior from others and opportunities to be supportive or good role models. Be with them in this online part of their life.
“The internet world for kids is just their world, and we have to talk to them about it the way we talk to them about their school day,” Higgins says.
Cyberbullying and communication
Much of what we read about children and social media use – or even something as harmless as Google Docs – revolves around fears of cyberbullying . Cyberbullying is certainly a concern; But Knorr writes that most kids say social media really strengthens their relationship:
Most kids want to have fun, socialize, and socialize online – and our research shows that most of them do just that. Check out these calming statistics:
- Most teens believe that social media has a positive effect on them.
- Social media is an important vehicle for creative expression.
- The quality of children’s online relationships has a large impact on their well-being.
So while it is important to teach children to recognize, confront and report cyberbullying, it is also important for parents to recognize that adolescents view social media as a positive tool for communication and creativity.
Parental Controls Only Help You
You should make sure to use any parental and privacy controls available on the site to keep as much inappropriate content as possible from their feeds, especially when you educate them about safety and online behavior first. But eventually they will learn how to use trap apps to hide photos, videos or messages from you, and they will know how to create fake profiles that you don’t even know to look for.
In fact, once they have access to the Internet and an email address, they can access almost any site or application of their choice. You cannot win forever.
This is why focusing on responsible online behavior and creating an atmosphere of openness and trust in the home will be more beneficial in the long run than just trying to block them.