If You Don’t Know What to Tell Your Child, Try This
If you haven’t seen theDuolingo for Talking Kids sketch on Saturday Night Live, we highly recommend it. It’s funny because it’s true: Talking to kids can be surprisingly intimidating. Should I ask them about the school? Doesn’t everyone ask them about school? Wait, are they old enough to go to school?
Guess their age
Let’s start with the last part first. Before you have children, especially if you weren’t around young children as a child or young adult, it can be incredibly difficult to determine the age of a child just by looking at it. Even now I am struggling with it because my son works with a large size for his age and he has friends who run from a small size and you might think that there were 2-3 years between these children just by looking at them …
This brings me to my best advice on guessing a child’s age, which actually comes from Lifehacker editor-in-chief Virginia Smith’s mother: “My mom’s rule (she’s a teacher) is to guess older because kids love it,” she says. And her mom is right. Guess the kid is four when he’s actually five (and a half), and you’ve just kicked their big kid’s self-esteem. I think they’re six or seven and they feel like tough guys.
For extra fun – and if you’re honestly not sure you’re going to pick a large enough number – exaggerate. To a 5-year-old, say something like, “Wow, you’ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you! How old are you now, 13 years old? “They’ll think you’re stupid, and they’ll love the idea that they’re actually 13 years old, and you’ve officially won them over.
Compliment them
This can be tricky,as the parody points out , because we, as a society, have a ridiculous tendency to praise girls for their looks (you are so beautiful!) And boys for their abilities (you are so strong!). Do you know which is better? Complimenting them for their sense of style or for their creations. For example, their “cool backpack”, “fancy shoes”, “beautiful artwork” or “amazing dance moves.”
Pick something that seems to have a little flair or otherwise hint at their personality and grab it.
Curiosity
Do you have a chatterbox sitting across from you at the table? You may not have to do a lot of hard work at all. Just listen, stay interested, and ask an additional question or statement, such as, “Oh yeah? What happened next? “Or,” Sounds fun – tell me more! ” the attention you give them is a gift that doesn’t require much effort on your part.
If the child is more reserved, you can try starting a conversation by asking him about some of his favorite topics (“Have you learned about any new dinosaurs since the last time I saw you?”) Or something interesting about them. life (“I heard that next year there will be another film about minions!”). However, if they just don’t like it, you can always go back to the previous section – “Cool Backpack!” – and end the day.
Give them five
If the child just does not want to talk to you, you do not know what else to say, or the conversation comes to a standstill, it’s time to ask him “high-five.” This is what kids love to do, this is what they enjoy practicing all the time, and is a great way to signal the end of the conversation.
To get extra points, do what my husband always does – yelp a little and shake your hand as if their tiny four-year-old were enough to actually bite your big adult paw. It makes them 1. feel very pleased with themselves, 2. laugh at your stupidity, and 3. conclude that you are cool.