How to Help a Family With a Child in the ICU

When Tiffany Brozius was 26 weeks pregnant, her legs began to swell. But the 37-year-old mother from Atlanta says she didn’t really think about it. After all, swelling during pregnancy is a common thing. But then it began to spread throughout her body, so Brozius went to his doctor, where she discovered that she had preeclampsia – dangerously high blood pressure during pregnancy. She was admitted to a hospital where she was treated and closely monitored. Six days later, when blood flow to the fetus was disrupted due to her condition, she gave birth to the baby by caesarean section.

It was a scary week, but nothing compared to what was ahead. Brosius’ baby, weighing 1 pound and 1 ounce, will spend the next 180 days in intensive care, completing the development that was supposed to occur in the womb.

Nearly 500,000 babies are treated each year in a neonatal intensive care unit or neonatal intensive care unit, putting their parents in a stressful world of 24/7 care, big cars and loud beeps, incredible victories and sometimes unimaginable tragedies. It is a place of small and large victories and failures that require as much time and attention as parents can give. It is also a logistical and emotional issue that puts parents far beyond their capabilities.

And this is where you come in. Here are some specific ways to help the NICU family cope with this difficult time.

Logistics assistance

Be an accurate person. Offer to take responsibility for one aspect of family support, be it sending updates to family and friends (via Facebook or text message) or taking responsibility for one of the items below, such as meal planning, fundraising, or homework. Then see if you can hire other friends or family members to take over the remaining areas.

Even being a driver is useful – when Brozius was recovering from a caesarean section, she could not get to the hospital, so friends took turns taking her out and picking her up every day.

Make a meal plan

Hospital food is terrible and no one has time to cook in those brief moments when they are at home to shower, relax and change before returning to the hospital. Brozius and her husband developed a schedule whereby he would pick up casseroles from the local store once a week, put them in the oven when he returned from work, and then bring lunch to the hospital for both of them to eat. Friends can do the same:

• Create a meal calendar through sites such as Mealtrain, and ask friends and family to prepare and deliver food (to the hospital or home) in a package that you can throw away.
• Purchase a gift voucher from a local food delivery service or app like Grubhub and set up a delivery schedule that’s suitable for the family.
• Build an online shopping list of staples for the family that they (or someone else) can easily modify.

Share emotional support resources

ICU parents are focused on their child’s well-being and are most likely not concerned with their own. Let them know that their mental health is important during this process and share these resources:

• Hand to Hold (You can also just give them the organization’s hotline number – 855-424-6428 – which will connect them to a former ICU family trained in peer support.)
• March of Dimes Family Support in NICU
• Parent support 4 intensive care units

Create a care package

Possible elements for inclusion:

• Compact mirror. With all the tubes and warming blankets in the ICU, it can sometimes be difficult for mums to see their baby (as well as their babies) while caring for a kangaroo or while feeding. A small, compact mirror allows parent and child to see each other and communicate.
• Lipstick / hand lotion. In the ICU, wash your hands often.
• An insulated reusable water bottle to keep parents (especially nursing or nursing mothers) hydrated.
• A diary / notebook for parents to write down practical things like feeding schedule and care instructions, and a place to process emotions.
• Nursing shirt or bras. Intensive care mothers are often encouraged to breastfeed or express milk, and this can be very difficult to do with everything else. When another ICU mom gave Brozius a shirt that made pumping easier, it was a game-changer. And since ICU often means early labor, many parents have yet to collect all the newborn essentials, such as nursing bras.
• Overalls and pajamas with buttons (for the passage of wires in and out) instead of zippers.
• Children’s book of the intensive care unit. The milestones in the ICU may be different, but they are still important milestones to celebrate, ”says Kelly Kelly, founder and CEO of Hand to Hold , who had two children in the ICU. “It is very important to find moments of joy and cherish them,” says Kelly.
• Ear plugs to block noise in the ICU.
• Protein snacks to have on hand. Kelly says parents are so busy that they often forget to eat.
• Gift cards to shops / cafes / eateries near the hospital
• Audiobook subscription for car travel to and from the hospital.

Reduce the financial burden

The financial implications of being in an ICU vary greatly depending on the family’s health insurance, the distance they live from the ICU (travel costs), their employer’s support (should they take unpaid leave?), And the specific condition of their child. For some families, a large donation fundraiser such as the GoFundMe page may be most appropriate.

Ask the family what support they need and then offer help with organizing. For families that need a lot of help, it may be easier to ask another person to create and manage a fundraising page than to ask yourself.

Other ways to provide financial support:

• Give out grocery, gas, or sharing gift cards.
• Invite your friends to pay for cleaning the house.
• Take the hospital parking collection and place it in a clearly labeled envelope that they can leave in the car.

Take care of the home front

For families with older siblings at home, one of the best ways to help is with babysitting, play meetings, transportation to and from school, and extracurricular activities.

Also, when parents spend most of their time in the ICU or split their time between hospital and work, they don’t have time to do laundry, cleaning, yard work, or caring for pets. Offer to participate or create an online registration so friends and family can take turns participating.

Just be with them

“One of the sweetest things I remember is a friend of mine who read to me when I pumped,” says Kelly. “When you’re pumping blood and you don’t have a baby, it’s very lonely. You cannot pay enough attention to the emotional support of people who are just with you, and you do not need to talk about medical things or give every last detail. “

And don’t forget about dads. Often, most of the support can go to the mom, especially if she is recovering from surgery or a medical condition such as preeclampsia. Kelly reminds people, “Go to the dads. Ask if you can invite him over for a hamburger or beer and provide some emotional support. “

Support them after they return home.

“Not only do they bring home a newborn, but they often bring home a medically fragile baby,” says Kelly, “so it’s even more important for them to get support when they get home.”

Respect their rules

Families in intensive care units are usually sent home with strong warnings to keep germs out of their homes. “For a long time, I didn’t want to be visited,” says Brosius, “because I was really afraid of germs.”

Kelly’s visitors were expected to be healthy and receive all vaccinations. If your family’s concerns about germs seem overwhelming to you, trust me, they are doing what they need to do to protect their child and feel safe after a terrible time.

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