Make Kids Think Your Favorite Treat Is Disgusting.
You can, of course, sneak in by hiding your favorite treats in a box of lightest cereals in your pantry and secretly eating them when the kids go to bed safely for the night. But why do that when you can shamelessly enjoy it right in front of them, because they think that a piece of chocolate goodness is actually terrible?
Instead of explaining why you are allowed to eat this treat while they are deprived, just make them think they don’t want it anyway. Lying about its taste.
It’s spicy
“Oh, sorry, this is pretty poignant,” is a parent’s favorite lie on our Offspring Facebook group . Many of you tell your kids that your favorite ice cream or chocolate bar is hot (and we applaud you for that). If your child doesn’t already know what spicy means, find a way to add some spice now so you can use the excuse later. Many children find mint “spicy” so it can be a good start.
It has alcohol in it
Listen kid, I don’t make laws. This milkshake is flavored with alcohol and I am not allowed to share it with you. You cannot get it until you are an adult.
If you don’t want your kids to think that you’re drinking all the time, you can also take the caffeinated route, like Mitzi, who says, “If I get a fancy sweet drink at a cafe, I’ll tell them that too much caffeine for their little bodies. This will make them stop growing. “
The added threat of stunted growth really polishes this ploy very well.
Tastes like coffee
If the thought of caffeine doesn’t scare them enough, just tell them it tastes like coffee. Have them sample a sip of (chilled) black coffee or a coffee-flavored treat. They probably won’t like it, and you have a perfect trick for the next few years. (If they like it, and now they are all the time asking for coffee, oops, sorry, it was worth it.)
Too hot
If your child is temperature sensitive, pretend to blow on hot chocolate. “It’s still very hot; You can burn your tongue, ”you can repeat over and over until you are completely dry.
Licorice flavored
This one would not work on my own son, because despite his natural pickiness, the child strangely LOVES the taste of licorice. But I have to imagine that most of your kids don’t (black gummies are an abomination and should be banned). Licorice goes well with dark chocolate due to its rich color.
It tastes like …
… whatever scent they hated the most. Hmm, it tastes like broccoli. Or lima beans. Or tuna. Or feta cheese. You know which scents will disgust your kids the most – this is how your next treat should be.