Don’t Drink Whiskey From the Glorified Tide Pod
In an effort to appeal to the Tide Pod generation, Glenlivet has launched its “Capsule Collection”, which consists of small alcohol drinks in a pack of edible seaweed. You don’t need ice, a stirrer, or a glass to consume the capsules, but that doesn’t mean these things were hard to find.
It’s a terrible way to enjoy a cocktail. I appreciate the alternative, biodegradable packaging and see the pouches used by marathon runners who don’t want to wear wacky water straps, but cocktails are made to be drunk , not fired, and are nothing more than Jell-O’s broken shots …
Based on the promotional video and what I’ve read about Notpla (an edible membrane), consuming these pods seems unpleasant. You put the pod in your mouth and push the membrane out with your teeth. Your mouth is then filled with booze, which travels through your esophagus and into your stomach, leaving you with a gaudy, slightly elastic, a kind of chewing algae membrane hanging down in your mouth. Then you have to decide whether to spit or swallow – a dilemma that I don’t want to face in a bar.
Luckily, the mischievous fountains won’t be available in my country anytime soon as they were created for London Cocktail Week which ends on Sunday. These whiskey pods are not hacking, but actually a symbol of the worst kind of “hacking” – one that no one asked for . These modules aim to solve a non-existent problem, pick up what has already been evaluated, and fix what has not been broken. In short, it’s wacky.
Can seaweed packaging be used for good and healthy things? Yes. This type of delivery system is likely to appeal to people with reduced hand mobility, and avoiding plastic packaging is a positive thing in most cases. But time-limited, small portions, premixed cocktails that literally leave a film in your mouth are not as memorable as they are. Rather than using millennials’ nihilistic sense of humor and turning it into a warm, lazy marketing ploy, Glenlivet should try to make more affordable scotch tape for avocado toast lovers. We don’t really want to eat Tide Pods, but we love to drink and we deserve to drink from a glass.