Talk to Yourself in a Second Person
Who among us has not experienced this pessimistic annoying inner voice that tells us something is simply too hard. Or, even better, the task you are trying to accomplish is too boring to hold your attention for as long as it needs to. Some tips to help kids overcome obstacles and stay focused on the task may be the solution we’ve all been looking for.
A video posted on the Greater Good Magazine website shows how to help kids become motivators of their own – by teaching them how to cheer themselves up in the second person:
Research shows that kids who can imagine themselves as characters or favorite superheroes and talk to them work harder than kids who are self-centered. In doing so, they can better focus on their goals, resist immediate temptations, and deal with negative emotions. And children who can practice self-control also feel better, have stronger relationships, and do better in school.
I’m not sure if you really need to embody your favorite character or superhero (although you can do your best if you do). But speaking to yourself as a competent person can help turn your lack of self-confidence and lack of focus into confidence and determination.
” I will never meet this deadline ” turns into “You always meet the deadlines.”
“I don’t have time for this” turns into “You can figure out how to fit this, because you are effective”.
“I’m about to fall face down on stage”? Not! “You will give the best speech of your life.”
Greater Good argues that outside perspective – or “detachment” – can help children better prepare themselves for problem solving:
Older children who practice self-talk and refer to themselves in the third person with their first name or “you” instead of “me” or “me” are better at coping with how they think, feel, and behave under stress.
And hey, if they can do it, you can do it. (I’m talking to myself, but I also believe in you all.)