Talk to Yourself in a Third Person for More Clarity
What do Donald Trump, Flavor Flav and Elmo have in common? There may be several acceptable answers to this question, but today we are looking for what they all are known to say about themselves in a third person. This isn’t exactly a compelling vote for this kind of communication, but listen to us: there is research that shows that third-person conversation can actually help us think through situations and help us with emotional regulation.
A study by the University of Waterloo in Canada claims to be “the first evidence that the cognitive and emotional processes associated with wisdom can be exercised in everyday life, and how to do it.” In fact, it has been found that illeism – a technical term for ourselves in the third person – can help us slightly change the way we perceive something by giving us some distance from ourselves.
Not only that, but contrary to what we may think of people who talk about themselves in a third person, research suggests that this can make us more humble and more inclined to consider other points of view (despite what the above above examples – more on that in a minute).
“A third-person self-talk helps here when it is used to reflect what is happening. That is, in thinking, using a third-person point of view creates a distance from the immediate “I”, – Igor Grossmann, Ph.D. Lifehacker is an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo, Canada and lead author of the study.
So how does it work? Grossman explains: “In practice, this can also be achieved by looking at a gullible friend or even a person to be admired – although here I am assuming; we haven’t tested the latter effect empirically yet. ” The idea is to take into account the bigger picture of the event, “rather than focus solely on your immediate feelings, which can often be misleading,” he notes.
But what doesn’t work is the use of self-talk in a third person for selfish purposes, Grossman says, for example, when talking about yourself as a brand or to protect your name. “In this case, it could even backfire,” he adds.
So no, you don’t need to fully study Elmo and start talking about yourself in third person all day, every day, but you might want to try it next time you need some clarity.