Don’t Ignore These Milestones of Unconventional Parenting
As parents, we are trained to pay more attention to the traditional milestones: the first tooth and the first bite of solid food. First words, first steps, first day at school. And yes, all this is great (although the week before the first tooth is not particularly pleasant). But in my almost nine years as a parent, I’ve found that much of the joy of being a parent comes from lesser-known milestones.
Reddit user u / HighOnPoker echoed that sentiment in a post about what they call “unexpected milestones.”
When my son (now 5.5 years old and my sister 2.5 years old) left the room for the first time, and I didn’t pursue him, I realized that this was also an important milestone. Or even earlier, when he was an infant and for the first time purposefully used his hands instead of rushing about. Another unexpected milestone. Whenever I meet a new parent, I always mention it because it was such a surprise to me how I was overjoyed at the fact that my child could leave the room and I didn’t have to chase after him for the sake of his safety. …
I myself have had many such moments. The first time my son told an anecdote, I really found it funny (and not just “oh, I have to think it’s cute because you are my child”). The first time he ordered himself a meal at a restaurant. The first time he was fully dressed, poured himself a glass of water and tied his boots, I swear there were fireworks blaring around us that only I could see.
I asked our Offspring Parent Group on Facebook if they have any favorite unknown milestones and they certainly did. The main steps fall into two distinct categories.
Personality
Making your child laugh is super fun and cool. But when your kids develop a real sense of humor – one that often overlaps with your own – it feels like a real parenting victory.
“When he started using sarcasm correctly. It made my day, – says Gille, – I remember thinking: “You are one of us!” “
Sarcasm is funny; so farts. “When she farted very loudly, she paused for effect and then laughed,” says Emily. “It was at that moment that I realized that I was holding a little comedian.”
The parents in our group loved it very much when their children could finally pronounce all the words from their favorite song or knew enough about offense and defense to properly cheer for their team.
It’s also an important milestone when your child shows their first criminal tendencies, like Julie’s: “First (poorly framed) signature forgery. Like, dude. You’re 6. Did you really think you were going to do this? “
Or when the curses started flowing, like in Holly’s house: “When she first uttered the curses and in the proper context. She ran up and down the house with her purse and sunglasses and then said, “Damn it, I’m late!” “
Independence
Perhaps the most enjoyable milestones are those where slowly but surely, one by one, our children take on tasks. This is the first time you can trust them to bring your plate to the dishwasher without dropping it or bumping into something? Take a moment to soak it up; this is the first step in transferring all the dishwashing responsibilities to your child.
“This was the first time I got my 5- and 7-year-olds to take their clothes off completely, and it was undoubtedly the greatest moment of my life,” says Ashley.
Jacqueline reveled in the moments when her son brushed his teeth for the first time, walked in and out of the shower on his own, and was free to play in the backyard. Brian appreciated when both kids could get into the car and get into their seats without assistance.
“It’s not something I have to brag about, but my son (4.5 years old) woke up, had a snack and turned on the TV himself so we could sleep on Saturdays, which is a huge milestone,” says Jenn.
Oh, you have to brag about it, Jenn. You should definitely brag.
So if you didn’t video capture his first few steps (or they did them rudely while you were at work) and you’re not entirely sure if she really said “dada” once, don’t worry. Truly great milestones are yet to come.