Is FaceTime in Public Acceptable?
Welcome to Tech Etiquette, Lifehacker’s new advice column in which we try to condemn the lawlessness of the so-called digital age. Everyone has their own opinions about other people’s terrible technical manners: how you should behave online, when and where you can use your phone, what emoji are acceptable at work, whether the email was rude or just short. Technical etiquette seeks to end these divisive issues, or at least offer a voice of reason in an unreasonable world.
If you’re wondering if your neighbor’s unsafe Wi-Fi can be used, or if you just need to know if it’s rude to respond with “k” to a text, we’ve got you covered. Send your questions about technical etiquette to [email protected] and we’ll see what we can do.
Today’s question comes to us from the Lifehacker Facebook page . Alicia B. asks:
When can I receive a FaceTime call in a public place without headphones? I feel like the answer is never, but the people I meet in coffee shops clearly disagree with me.
Dear Alicia,
You’re absolutely right: FaceTime is not allowed in cafes without headphones. I would even say that FaceTime is unacceptable in a cafe with headphones. My rule of thumb is, “Wherever a group of strangers is sitting, this is a bad place to talk on the phone.” This means that these are restaurants of any type. Cinemas. Summer terraces of the cafe. Buses. Aircraft before takeoff. Doctor’s office. Do you understand.
“But everyone else is talking to each other in a coffee shop,” some boor might argue. “Why is it so awful if I’m on the phone? Why can’t I FaceTime my girlfriend while I’m drinking my latte? “And to this boor, I say: you know as well as I do that 2010 study that showed that“ listening in on half of a conversation – “half-log” – is more distracting than other types of conversation, because we miss the other side of the story. and therefore I cannot predict the course of the conversation. ” And we tend to speak louder when we’re on cell phones, so your FaceTime conversation is different from the hum of everyone else talking to people in the same room.
Where is it normal for FaceTime
So which public spaces are good for FaceTiming? You can FaceTime at the park if you’re not at a concert. Or standing near a cinema. You can use FaceTime in the supermarket queue if you absolutely need it, but it won’t make the life of anyone else in the queue any better – although we technically stand to keep you from breaking my rule, it’s still antisocial and annoying. You can use FaceTime while walking down the street if you think you can actually keep going without stumbling, slowing down pedestrian traffic, or getting caught in traffic (you probably can’t).
The only 100% acceptable FaceTime location is in your home or other enclosed area where only people interested in or participating in the conversation are within earshot.
You are right, but don’t talk about it
Once upon a time, people did not have phones to look at, in the American Airlines waiting area or in the bar where they were waiting for a friend or the Amtrak train to Boston, so they were actually talking to each other. In public places, talking on the phone or FaceTime is not only rude, but also frustrating. We are lonely, we feel disconnected and so on and so forth, but it is within our power to really connect with the people around us.
The terrible thing about good manners is that everyone else is such bullies. How are we supposed to resist anarchy when only a few of us are committed to putting away our phones in front of a symphony? I’m upset about this too, but I ask you not to use your good manners as a club to beat up the FaceTiming guy in the restaurant. Ask the waiter if they will ask him to go outside. Don’t roll your eyes and sigh out loud in the hope that he will notice your irritation and change his behavior. “Counter-etiquette” – using etiquette to make other people feel bad – can help you feel superior, but in the end it’s just another form of rudeness. You can be right and kind.
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