Make the Best Decisions by Questioning Your Assumptions
When faced with two seemingly incompatible goals, needs, or desires, ask yourself what you need to do to achieve both results at the same time.
No seriously.
While it is true that every decision you make excludes another option or opportunity, in the sense that the dollar you spend on lunch cannot be invested in your IRA, and the hour you spend at the gym cannot be spent cleaning the kitchen. , many of us come to the conclusion too quickly that certain goals naturally contradict each other.
If we take on more responsibility at work, we will have to spend less time at home.
If we have children, we will not be able to travel.
If we want to save enough money for retirement, we won’t be able to buy lattes.
Dialectical questioning, a method of argumentation since the days of Socrates and Plato, allows you to examine your assumptions and identify scenarios that refute those assumptions.
As leadership coach Jesse Sostrin explains in Strategy + Business :
Pham wanted her next promotion, but the trade-offs in the volume of work and quality of life needed to achieve it seemed overwhelming to her. Both outcomes – either getting a promotion or giving up to maintain a better work-life balance – were aligned with her values (achievement, success, family, health, etc.), and each was considered important. However, the two results seemed inconsistent. The dialectical question allowed me to combine both: “How can I continue to grow as a leader and move up the career ladder, while shaping my leadership lifestyle in a healthier way?” Pham used this question to actively guide her thoughts and actions towards an outcome that included satisfying elements of both outcomes. As a result, a conscious choice was made to increase the working hours every two weeks with a reduction in travel every two weeks. Discussing this flexibility allowed her to reconnect with friends and family and resume a yoga practice she had neglected.
Note that Pham’s decision actually included a choice that excluded certain options – some weeks she will work harder, which means she will not be able to spend that time with friends and family, but she will have fewer working hours. other weeks, and you can use this time to socialize with those close to her.
Of course, not all of us can choose our own opening hours. This does not mean that we cannot use the dialectical method to reconcile other aspects of our life that seem to be in conflict. If you ask yourself, “How can I drink a latte every day and contribute to my retirement fund?” Using a classic but formulaic example, you can find another area where you can cut your spending – or if you find that your budget is too limited, you may start asking yourself how you can make more money .
This method is very similar to the fourth skill of the famous seven skills of high-performing people : win-win thinking . What has to happen to everyone in this scenario to get what they want? What choices need to be made, what boundaries need to be set, and what options should be considered?
So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where you have to choose between two seemingly incompatible paths, start asking yourself if there is a third path that you haven’t considered yet. What does it take to get both A and B? What do you suppose about the situation and what happens if you suppose otherwise? Is there a way to tweak C to make A and B more compatible with each other?
Once you know the answers to these questions, you will have a better understanding of how to move forward.