Stop Punishing Your Child for Good Behavior
Sometimes I stumble upon parenting advice that makes me feel uncomfortable, and that’s because I feel insecure. This happened when I read a Tumblr post from author Olofa. Headline: “Don’t punish the behavior you want to see.”
I don’t find fault with my 6-year-old daughter, but there have been times when I was disappointed that she didn’t do what she was supposed to. Brush her teeth, comb her hair, pick up the board game chips that she has spread out on the living room floor. When, after what seems like too much of a reminder, she starts to move, I can angrily say “thank you.” How does this give her strength? This is not true.
We shouldn’t overestimate children, but sincere gratitude for their contributions usually prompts them to take on more responsibility. Not because they are ashamed, but because they feel valuable and important. Yes. This is hard. If your child has protested going to bed in the past 17 nights, you’ve probably finished the whole process. But then on the 18th night, if they accidentally crawl under the covers without a fight, you have to let the past slip away. Recognize your achievement and move forward. The smallest steps are counted.