The Best Diners in the Bar Are Quiet
Being a regular at a bar is pretty easy – just come back often. But being a good regular that bartenders really love is an art. It’s all about restraint. Aside from knowing when you should quit drinking and how not to be an outspoken jerk , the secret to being pleasantly in a bar involves two things that – historically – I’m not very good at: being quiet sometimes and not demanding a lot of attention.
The loyal pros that bartenders really love – good gossip, occasional free drinks and food, and a slightly elevated social status – outweigh the discomfort of not talking all the time. In addition to this, I found that there are several behavioral bar staff that seem to be appreciated.
Speak when someone calls you
Even though this seems like a relatively fun social job, your bartender is still at work and has tasks to complete. Some of these tasks – like getting your order – require talking to you. Some of them – like making drinks – don’t.
To beat off a bartender who prepares a drink or orders someone’s order is rude and break the rules. If you were at work, trying to fix a spreadsheet or line of code (or whatever else you do), and someone broke into your office and started chatting with you, you would probably find it annoying. Don’t do this to your bartender.
The bartenders are in the hotel business. They are not your nanny, the therapist, or the date. If your attempts to start a quick conversation fail, don’t take it personally; they may have a sudden rush of orders (read the room), they may be trying to count money, busy working with staff, or coming up with new drinks on the menu. If they want to talk to you, they will! If they don’t, they won’t, and that’s okay. You have many alternatives: look into your phone, read a book, look into the abyss, and so on.
Of course, if you need a drink, grab the bartender’s attention and ask for it. Making drinks is a job, but not creating a sparkling conversation.
This is especially important to remember if your bartender is a woman. It never ceases to amaze that in 2019, adult men still get hurt if they don’t feel like they are getting enough attention from the barmaid, or worse, interpret the attention and pleasant conversation as a sign of true love.
Have normal conversations
If you do talk to the bartender, resist the urge to challenge his knowledge or experience. One of the most frustrating things I see is when people in bars ask questions they already know the answers to, just to impress a date or brag about some vague knowledge of liquor. Ask the questions you really want to know the answer to and you will have a much more enjoyable – and rewarding – communication.
Don’t play ambassador
Regardless of how many hours you’ve spent at that particular bar and how well you know the menu, resist the urge to play the unofficial representative. You don’t work there . If someone asks the bartender a question, don’t answer it, even if you know the answer. As much as you might be tempted to enthusiastically recommend a drink or menu item, let the real bartender answer the question and don’t invite yourself into a conversation you haven’t been asked to participate in. (If, however, another visitor asks you for a recommendation, feel free to reply.)
Good tip
The main reason most people come to work is to get paid, and this is true for even the most dedicated and inspired mixologists. Tip 20 percent on your tab, plus a dollar for every free drink you get, and never, ever complain if you don’t get a discount, even if you’ve received it before.
Make your own decisions
“What do you want to do?” this is the worst answer to the question “what would you like?” Assuming you’re not ordering Ramos gin fizz , which is a headache to make, most cocktails take about the same amount of time and effort. One will not bring more joy to the creator than the other. While a repeat customer may grant you certain perks – like being able to sample drinks before they appear on the menu – don’t expect ordered drinks off the menu every time you show up. Create a drink or choose from the menu and order.
Don’t be a crawl
Bartending means that anyone can come to your work every time you work and stay there, hang out indefinitely and talk to you. This makes the job even more vulnerable as the bartender has nowhere to retreat, especially if he is working alone.
This is why it is imperative that if you want to be a regular at a particular bar, do not try to sleep with the employees of that bar. Don’t even ask them out on a date. If you do this, and everything goes badly, you will have to lose your right to this bar, because coming to the ex’s place of work and watching his work is unpleasant, if not cruel, to say the least.
A calm, judicious adult who does not require special attention and special treatment, makes him an excellent regular visitor. Bartenders want their customers to have a good experience, especially if they want them to have a good night too. A squeaky wheel can get grease, but a cool, quiet wheel gets ethanol (sometimes at a discount).