On This Mother’s Day, Away From the Children
One particularly difficult year at the beginning of my parenting journey, I had one request from my husband for Mother’s Day. I said and quote: “Do you know what I want for Mother’s Day? I want to STAY ONE . “
It was not the best moment for me, but at the time I was a housewife for my (then) four-year-old son and three-year-old adopted son. I haven’t had a moment of loneliness for several weeks. Someone constantly touched me, pulled after me, pursued me and pronounced the word “mother” in such a way that it lost all meaning.
I needed a break. And you too.
This is why you should take a day off from parenting. And as Mother’s Day approaches, you have a perfect excuse. This year, you don’t need flowers or jewelry with your children’s initials engraved on them. (However, you still want homemade cards — they are non-negotiable.) No, you need a break. A real break, a full day off.
So how do you do it?
First of all, everyone gets a day
If you have a break, your partner will get it as well. Obviously not at the same time, but you can take Mother’s Day and they can take Father’s Day. Or, if you’ve already decided to have a barbecue for the whole family these days, choose a random Saturday. It does not matter; we just use these holidays as an excuse to give ourselves a little self-care.
For those of you raising single children, this obviously gets complicated, which is really unfair because you really need a day off. Ask a parent, sibling, or best friend for the day. Or swap days with another single parent to take a break, too. Provide whatever service you need to get yourself a day.
Add this to your calendar
Right now. Nothing is real until it is on the family calendar; until then, it’s just a wish. Treat it like any other commitment on this calendar. As awkward as it may seem when approaching, you cannot cross it out. Write it in large bold Sharpie.
Imagine leaving town
Plan your day off in advance, as if it were a real vacation during which you were leaving the city (of course, if you can actually leave the city, you earn bonus points for this exercise). Do any errands before leaving. Stock up on groceries, fill up the car with gas, go to the post office and prepare a couple of things for washing in advance. The last thing you want to do is return home after a day of work and realize that every sock in the house is dirty and there is nothing to collect for tomorrow’s lunch.
Seriously, repeat after me, “My day off is NOT a runaway day! Assignments are not a break! “
Actually leave your home
Don’t be trapped in the idea that you are just relaxing in bed for a few extra hours. Even if your family leaves you alone, you can still hear the kids argue about which show to watch, the dog barks for no reason, and your partner screams over it all. If the spouse picks up the children from home while you are resting, he also does not work; wherever he plans to take it, they will inevitably close, or someone will burn or be injured. They’ll be back in 20 minutes and you will get even more angry.
So go on. In the spa, in the park, or in the darkest and quietest corner of the library. Wherever you go, be away all day, from waking up early to bedtime. Just in case, send an SMS before entering the house to confirm that the kids are definitely asleep.
If you really want to get it right, be like a Reddit user u / ornages and dream big:
I want to go to a random hotel room. In that there are super fluffy duvets, cozy pillows and a mattress to die for in comfort. I want to watch mindless TV for hours in said bed. Whatever show I want.
I want to eat a 2 liter can of Oreo Cookie ice cream in bed for dinner and a bottle of wine for dessert.
I wanna go to bed when I’m so damn good please and wake up when I’m so damn good please and spend my next day the way I damn please.
Feel free to copy this plan, it is perfect in every way.
Do it constantly
If you have succeeded, I see no reason why it should not be a routine that you weave into the rhythm of your life. When you get home, take out that Sharpy and block the next break.