How to Choose the Right Therapist for You

Finding a good therapist is not easy. Therapy can be incredibly expensive at first, depending on insurance coverage. Plus, there are scheduling restrictions (it’s hard to find a therapist with hours of work if you work from 9 to 5), location restrictions, general time limits, and trying to figure out if a person spills all your shit is what you need. to help you unpack and repack it.

There are also hundreds of different types of therapies out there, which is intimidating when you’re not sure which one is best for you, in addition to the many different categories of mental health professionals, each with different qualifications and backgrounds. It’s a lot to navigate, especially when you’re a first-time customer. Here are some tips for choosing the right care.

What kind of therapy do I need?

There are many different types of therapy, and mental health professionals do not necessarily take a one-size-fits-all approach. For example, if you suffer from something like generalized anxiety disorder or depression, your therapist may use a combination of different treatments in your sessions. But let’s take a look at some of the more common options:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) :

CBT is a common treatment that focuses on learning about certain behavioral patterns and developing some kind of play plan to break them. “He tries to help you change your behavior by thinking differently about your situation,” says Ryan Howes, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist based in Pasadena, California. “So, for example, if you’re worried about bumping into your boss at work, or anxiety is preventing you from making a move, CBT can help you rethink it. Instead of thinking about all the terrible things that can happen, it helps you imagine positive results. “

CBT therapy is usually short-term – your therapist helps you define a specific goal and then works with you to help regulate your emotions and develop new personal coping strategies. This can be especially helpful in treating anxiety and depression.

Psychodynamic treatments :

Psychodynamic therapies, such as psychoanalysis and Jungian therapy, involve digging into your past to see the root of whatever problems you are trying to treat. So, for example, if you are worried about bumping into your boss, the psychodynamic approach will try to determine when that particular anxiety first occurred and how early trauma and relationships affected your current predicament. “The idea is that the ability to detect early thoughts will free you up so you can act differently,” says Howes.

Psychoanalysis can take a long time (eg years) and many therapists will use it in tandem with a CBT approach that is worth talking about in counseling.

Specialized treatments for specific diseases :

Both CBT and psychodynamic therapy (or a combination of both) can be effective for more general mental health disorders, but if you are struggling with a specific disorder, such as an eating disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder, it may be more helpful to see a mental health professional who specializes in treating these problems. For example, if you have suffered an injury, there is eye movement desensitization and re-treatment (EMDR) therapy; if you mourn a tragic death, there is grief therapy .

The essence of therapy, however, is that you may think CBT will help you best, or that you need deep psychoanalysis, or that only one particular type of treatment will help you. The reality is that therapists often use multiple approaches to treating a patient, and while it is helpful to find a therapist who specializes in a particular disorder, when you start visiting, you may find that problems are not only causing anxiety or grief.

“No one walks in the door with one problem,” says Faith Tanny, a psychologist in private practice in Washington, DC. “You should be able to switch using different modalities.”

More importantly, if you like your therapist and feel comfortable opening up to him, the type of treatment he specializes in may not matter. “If you think your therapist is treating you, stay with him,” says Tunney. “If you think your therapist is not helping you, I don’t care what therapy he does.”

Which mental health professional should I contact?

There are several different categories of people licensed and qualified to administer therapy. Psychologists hold doctoral and psychological degrees and have received training in both psychotherapy and assessment testing. Licensed clinical social workers also receive training in psychotherapy and provide mental health services similar to psychologists but do not hold doctoral degrees. A licensed mental health consultant is also trained in psychotherapy and will treat patients in the same way as a social worker. Psychiatrists are primarily concerned with chemical imbalances. They have doctorates and prescribe medications (in some states, psychologists can also prescribe medications).

A psychiatrist is someone who wants to see if you want medication to correct your mood, but if you are looking for talk therapy, you’d better see a psychologist, social worker, or counselor. Psychologists usually approach people with serious mental illness, and social workers and counselors can help patients suffering from more common forms of psychological disorder. However, in the long run, if you are dating someone with a valid government license (states have an online search for licenses for psychologists , counselors, and clinical social workers ), if you like your therapist, their specific credentials are not appropriate. It really matters.

What research should I do before the consultation?

The search for a therapist is influenced by many factors. Therapy is expensive, so if your health insurance covers it, it is recommended that you seek it from a health care provider, although some therapists offer sliding-scale counseling. Location is also an important factor: if you think it will be difficult for you to reach a therapist, you are likely to be less likely to make an appointment, especially when you are still in the probing stage.

If you want to solve a specific problem, you really want to know that your therapist has some experience in this area. If you are dealing with anxiety, your therapist should know how to treat anxiety. If you have bulimia, your therapist should have experience working with patients with eating disorders. On sites such as therapy.org and Psychology Today you can learn a little about your therapist’s areas of expertise so you can understand what you are working with.

Then you have to consider your personal preference. “Some people feel like they need someone who fits a certain age group. Someone wants someone to be a little older and wiser, someone feels more comfortable talking to someone around the same age, ”says Howes. “Gender also plays an important role. I tell people to try and make a list of three therapists who on paper seem to fit their criteria, who are the right age and who specialize in this area, and take a test drive with those therapists. ”

What questions should I ask in the first lesson?

Once you have selected three therapists, you should schedule a consultation by phone or in person. Sometimes therapists do not charge a consultation fee, and sometimes they do, so it is recommended that you check this in advance.

However, the most important thing in a consultation is to feel like a therapist. “It’s like a first date,” says Tunney. She recommends skipping the “where did you go to school” part of the standard dating questionnaire — “They’re already licensed so you can sue them,” she jokes, “and jump straight to your specific goals and opportunities. helping you achieve them.

“You got my name from someone. You read about me and you see that I have skills, I have techniques, I have training, I have experience. Now let’s see if that works for you, ”says Tunney. “We set goals for therapy, I’ll tell you what I think we’ll work on first, and you’ll tell me if they make sense to you.”

It’s also a good idea to ask your therapist about their specific rules – some require advance notice if you cancel a session, for example, or allow you to take a couple of weeks off without being charged. Some will ask you to warn them for several weeks before you decide to stop therapy. “If you feel like it’s time to leave, I ask you to let me know so we have a couple of weeks to discuss it,” says Tunney, who gets her patients to sign a contract.

In the end, use your intuition.

The real key to finding a therapist is just like trying to find a romantic partner: there has to be a click. If after a couple of sessions you don’t feel that your therapist is someone you can open up to, then he is not your therapist.

“It’s about trusting your instinct,” says Howes. “A therapist may be the most highly qualified person in the world with years of experience and mountains of books, but if you cannot open up to them, the therapist is useless. Or they may be brand new trainees, but if you feel safe and comfortable talking to them, therapy will be more rewarding. ”

So if you’ve checked multiple therapists, choose the one that would be most comfortable for you to talk to. And if, after several sessions, or several months, or several years, you decide that you have lost this connection, you can leave. “You have the power. This person works for you, ”says Tunney. Don’t be a ghost, and will bring your specific concerns about your therapist to them, as it is always a good idea to give someone an explanation as to why you think things are not working. But you are the master. After all, as Tunney says, “This is not your friend, this is your worker bee.”