Compliment Other Parents When You See Them Doing Well.
On the One Bad Mother podcast , hosts Biz Ellis and Teresa Thorne end each episode by telling each other, “You’re doing a really good job.” I always thought it was such a nice way to cheer each other up, when you are in the midst of raising children, everything seems to be a struggle, and it seems to you that no one around you can see how hard you work.
I was reminded of this line when I stumbled upon this post on the r / Parenting subreddit about a mom, u / jmbrinker, who received a compliment while shopping with her toddler:
We just moved and our new store has little baby shopping carts, so I let her push my cart and helped while we put food in it.
To keep her busy, I let her pick a few things, took her to grab, and then let her put them in the cart.
A lady next to us noticed and said: “I like how patient you are with your daughter. It’s so good to see. ”
She continues that grocery shopping is often a behavioral disaster, and “I wish she knew how much these few words mean. Anyway, her words helped me to be more patient! “
As u / Talisker875 pointed out in the comments on this thread, “Parental compliments are much better than ‘your baby is cute’ compliments. Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
It made me yearn for more of these sweet stories, so I asked the Facebook parenting group if they had ever received a parental compliment from a stranger in the wild.
“We flew over rough terrain with my then 16-month-old baby,” says group member Shruti. “She was still a little baby on her knees, so we tried our best to contain her. At the end of the flight, the woman in front of the aisle handed me an origami paper crane and said that I did a great job with the flow and she saw that my daughter was loved. “
Another commentator, Lily, said that when she was a teenager, she often witnessed her mom publicly praise the parents of young children. At the time, she was embarrassed (due to adolescence), but now that she has a baby of her own, she sees what a gift her mother gave to these parents.
“When your child is behaving in public, even if no one is saying anything out loud, you physically hear his looks,” says Lily. “However, when your child knocks him out of the park with manners, do you feel like no one notices ?! My baby is killing him today! “
Sometimes, just commenting when you are observing a pleasant conversation can brighten someone’s day.
“I was at Target with my girlfriend in the cart,” Jess says. “We chatted and kissed. An elderly woman said with a happy smile that our connection reminded her and her daughter long ago.
Restaurants can also be a good place to give out compliments. Jarissa took her toddler to a brunch with a friend in a restaurant that was unexpectedly not for children. But her daughter treated it like a champion, discreetly painting the entire meal.
“After breakfast, my daughter said:“ Okay, mommy, it’s time to go, ”and we got together,” said Jarissa. “It was only when we were about to leave that other visitors realized that there was even a baby in the room! Several people commented on how quiet and well-behaved my daughter was. “
Of course, for every angel child sitting beautifully in a restaurant, there is one who melts with hunger or restraint. For every toddler who works at the grocery store, there is one who throws an epic tantrum as soon as they get in line at the checkout. In those cases? Group member Mika asks for help.
“When my daughter was a couple of months old, I was in the store and went through the entire grocery trip without her crying. Well, you wouldn’t know, she started screaming at the checkout, says Miki. “I kept my cool, but I tried very hard to just collect my groceries, pay for them, and get out of there. Well, two ladies came and helped me. They were in the alleys on either side of me. They didn’t even know each other. But they folded my things and told me to just hold the baby, they would take care of it. I tried so hard to hold back my tears, it was so sweet of them. “