Let the Kids Get Their Birthday Gifts
In recent years, the inscription “Please, no gifts” has become increasingly common on the invitation to the child’s birthday. And I can understand why. They already have so many things. Most likely, they will receive gifts from grandparents, aunts and uncles. Perhaps most importantly, we don’t want to place unnecessary financial burdens on the other parent.
But I have found that children’s birthdays are a great opportunity for my son to practice being a thoughtful giver and gracious recipient, that good lessons outweigh the daily spoilage.
Ever since my son, when he was three, started receiving invitations for invitations to parties at a local vacation home, I took him to the store to buy gifts for his birthday. Even at the age of three, I could teach him to think about what his friend might like. “What’s in her backpack?” I asked, “What does she like to do at school?” From there, we can decide that she needs a Paw Patrol figurine or a new jump rope.
He also loves to choose a special postcard (he always wants to give the funniest postcard) and insists on helping to wrap the gift so that it really comes from him, from start to finish. And since the first birthday we ever went shopping on, I’ve put in a hard and fast rule: nothing for you today. We’re not shopping for you; we shop for your friend. If you want to see the things you want, you can take a look after we got everything we need for the birth of a boy / girl.
He saw firsthand how it took time and effort to come up with an idea for a gift, which in turn made him a gracious recipient of the gift. “I really didn’t like it very much,” he told me one day after a party. “But it was so sweet of her to think of me and choose something, so I said that I like it because I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
Other (less fun) options
Some commenters on the r / Parenting subreddit had other suggestions on how parents might be allowed to give gifts. “Could you come up with a ‘gift’ that she could choose and enjoy with all her friends at the party instead of receiving gifts from her friends?” asked / dasch4.
Or ask your local animal shelter to collect donations?
Or ask for cards instead of gifts?
But giving a “gift” to friends in the form of a fun party is a kind of party, buying things for animals instead of children does not solve the problem of financial burden, and cards … are less exciting than gifts.
Please don’t do this
Then there is a proposal that I came up with, which seems more horrible and unpleasant than any of them: to organize a “Fiver Party”. The premise of such a party is detailed in this article on Mothers :
In short, a five is the end of all the trouble buying gifts for our kids! It’s just a birthday party where all the little guests bring a $ 5 bill to go for a big gift that the parents bought and that the kid really wants.
No gifts, stress or expenses.
I know, well done, right ?!
No, it’s not brilliant. It is strange and embarrassing for children to give each other money for birthdays. And I’m not sure if you have enough kids / five dollar bills to receive “one big and exciting gift they dreamed of,” as the author suggests.
One idea I can leave
If you are leaning towards allowing gifts, but are worried that they will become a burden to parents on a budget, consider adding a note on the invitation stating that homemade gifts or gifts worth less than $ 10 would be welcome. … For $ 5-10, kids could still choose from fun art supplies, a board game, or a variety of items at the dollar store or the dollar aisle at Target.
Final thought
It’s birthday and gifts are fun.