What to Do If You Are Rejected on Social Media
The nuances of social media relationship management can give anyone headaches. And while I hate using the phrase KonMari , you don’t have to put up with things (or people) that don’t make your digital platforms happy. We’ve given you a lot of tips on how to cleanse your online life of stupid, annoying people … but what if you’re hurting others?
I am not saying that you are a troll. Maybe you have well-researched opinions that have gotten some of your friends on the nerves. People may not like the gifs you post. You may even be experiencing a breakup that shatters the circles of friends you previously shared with your ex. Such things.
Our life is filled with rejection, and it doesn’t always come from us. When someone in the online world rejects you , here are some safe and rational ways to deal with it.
Talk to them, but not too much
In every dispute – especially in every Internet dispute – there comes a point where the conversation starts to subside. You may even hear this voice in your head warning you that you are probably nudging it if you continue the dialogue – a voice that many people seem to ignore when given the opportunity to have the last word.
The easiest way to deal with someone who gently rejects you – responding less to your messages, giving shorter responses, or acting like most people when they want to move on – is to recognize those moments and accept the unspoken terms of release. It’s easy to see when a person wants to end the conversation, and that doesn’t mean you need to add 80 percent to their 20. Just stop or end the conversation yourself. Don’t be too heavy.
Or, better yet, set a limit on the number of responses for yourself once you realize you are engaged in a controversial conversation. Agree that you will not leave more than [x] comments or responses before leaving and never coming back. (And don’t forget to unsubscribe from the conversation, or turn it off if possible, so you won’t be tempted to come back when others respond to what you said earlier.)
Step away from dying conversations with finesse, and you’re much more likely to keep your cyber friends after casual, healthy disagreements.
Respect other people’s need for space
If you’ve done something to a friend or a random internet stranger and he disconnected you or even dropped the connection with you, chances are good that you will probably never notice. If you don’t chat with this person on a regular basis and wonder why you haven’t seen them post or strike up a conversation, you will likely have so many other contacts filling your feed that losing one “semi-regular” is easy. overlook.
You will never know if someone has disconnected you on social media unless you do some kind of ritual like Sherlock to check everyone who likes or interacts with your content and match it to people who have previously interacted with. you at some previous moment. This is a lot of work. More importantly, it makes you look like a psychopath. Do not do this.
It’s easy to see if someone is no longer your friend. Most services will tell you if you are friends with a person who is not friends with you, that is, when you go to his profile. There are many third-party apps and extensions that make it even easier to find out about this.
However you put it all together, a good first step after losing your online connection is to think about what this friendship means to you. Do you miss this person? Really? Perhaps breaking the connection, even if the loss occurred on their terms, is exactly what you needed to do. You are just procrastinating for a reason.
Do not react with a knee jerk to a change in status. Sit on it for a few days or a week and reassess whether you really need this person in your life. I bet it won’t hurt that much in a few days (or a few hours) after you uncover the awful truth. In most cases, you can probably get on with your life without mourning the loss – if you can even call it that.
If you need to reach out, proceed with caution.
When someone points out that they no longer want to talk to you – usually by cutting off your friendship or blocking you entirely – you should relax. Don’t be the kind of person who gets assertive and finds himself in a new, exacerbated situation among the general group of friends because you tried to impose a friendship that had to go.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t try to remedy the situation if, during the period of self-reflection I mentioned earlier, you realize that you were a jerk. However, apologizing is an art. Be humble, kind, and don’t expect what you say will change the status of your relationship with the person. In fact, don’t even think that this person will even see your apology, let alone respond to it.
Depending on how annoying you were to someone else, or the nature of the conversation you had before you left or blocked it, it might even be inappropriate to send an apology. Of course, this is correct, but if you have just had a war of the 30 comments from a man, the last thing they want to see – this is one of your post, no matter how good-natured he may seem.
Only you can know if you think it’s right to contact you after someone rejected you on social media. And in most cases, I would be wrong to “let it boil.” An apology or trying to light a fire a month or a few months later gives everyone a chance to cool off. Your words are more likely to sound sincere than trying to “end” the conversation and restore some semblance of power. And you may even gain more clarity about an aspect of yourself or what you did to get rejected, which you can then summarize in a short and concise note.
You can also try to express your regret or sadness to a mutual friend, who can then talk about your feelings at an appropriate time on your behalf. This achieves two goals: you will get the inner satisfaction knowing that you have admitted your foolishness, and you will also get a neutral side who will decide whether or not to mention your remorse to the side you hurt, if ever. (Depending on your relationship with a former friend, this may also be the only way to really interact with him if they blocked you.)
Again, and I can’t stress this enough, don’t be assertive. Nobody owes the asshole anything, and friendship shouldn’t last long. The most important thing you can learn from online rejection is to better understand what you did and your social behavior, which you can then change as needed to avoid going down that path again.