How to Know If Someone Is Right for You According to Women on Reddit
In theory, we meet to find a relationship we want to stick to. In practice, people go on dates for a variety of reasons, and it can be difficult to know if you are on the same page with the person you are dating. This is how Reddit women call.
In a thread started by u / tinykittymama on r / AskWomen, people shared their ” 2019 dating tips ” as we feel like the rules need to be updated every year. The advice here is of course given and geared towards people who identify with women, but most of the advice applies to everyone. Here’s how you decide if you want to keep dating someone throughout the dating process.
Don’t ignore your intuition
Always listen to your feelings for someone. This applies when you’ve been dating someone for a while, but most often it happened while meeting strangers through dating apps or on first dates, as u / ModernLullaby says :
Last year when I was doing online dating, I wanted to give everyone a chance. I thought impartiality was the key to finding fulfilling relationships because I didn’t want to judge people by their looks and what they have on their profile. There is a difference between being open-minded and just going on dates for the sake of a date. If you are not initially attracted to a person, trust your intuition and do not go out with him on a date. The chances that you will feel attracted to them after this are very small. I can say 100% that I was not attracted to any guy that I initially did not find attractive bye bye.
Other black belts apps like u / sixtyneeni suggest taking precautions when you go on your first date, like sharing your location with a friend and making sure the date is short, easy to get to – and easy to leave!
Respect Your Own Boundaries
Dating can be violent; If you haven’t met anyone you like for a while, you can easily question your own standards. Women are often threatened by eternal loneliness if they are too “picky”, but, as many point out, it is better to be alone than with someone, because of which you feel bad or insecure. This could mean setting standards for those you meet, as u / kaseylegg described :
FaceTime is required first before the date! Then the game is [over] if he folds. Saves time.
While I would never date someone before their first date in a million years, I personally respect that this is someone’s standard, as does their date.
Boundaries can also mean having a clear understanding of what you want from whoever you’re dating, as u / smalldollparts explained :
I am calm, but I am not calm when it comes to my feelings. I will look forward to it because my life has been badly damaged. I told my boyfriend right away that I don’t like being fucked and that talking about things as adults is the way to deal with anything.
It’s hard to set boundaries and stick to them because it worries no one else, but waiting for one guy to be as emotionally mature as you is better than “chilling” with 10 other guys.
If you’re unsure of your boundaries, sit down and list the perpetrators of your deal, and then consider why. Some may not be as important as you thought, and you can let them go. Those that remain will be even more important.
If you want commitment, say so
There are people who do not want to make commitments; if so why are you dating them? If it’s just for sex, I respect it, but at some point, you’ll have to get what you really want in order to get it. Wise poster u / smalldollparts commented again: “Communicate your needs ahead of time and don’t compromise being an FWB if you want a relationship. Don’t waste your time, there is so much of it. “
And u /DavidlikesPeace agreed with the ladies:
The guy is here: this is the case.
I like the labels. Let’s define the problem. If a person doesn’t like labels, this is often a sign that they are avoiding (for personal reasons or circumstances, it doesn’t matter if it affects you). Avoidancers won’t magically change how much intimate you give them. In fact, trying hard often scares / annoys them.
To paraphrase, a person must be willing to change in order to change. No one will change for the sake of a person whom he considers intrusive or if he already gets what he wants.
It may be too early to get in too early when you’re just meeting someone, but if they say they’re not looking for anything serious and you’re looking, cut the rope. This person is not for you.
Communication is the key to success
This is the golden rule of all relationships: talk about a problem as soon as it becomes one, and don’t assume anything. The OP have shared their own dating clauses, which include the following key points regarding what needs to be communicated:
until explicitly confirmed, assume non-monogamy / non-exclusiveness.
communicate, communicate, communicate. but even then prepare yourself to be disappointed. just because you make it clear how you expect to be treated does not mean that you will be treated the same way. at least you know you have clearly articulated your standards, and if people can’t respect that, let them gooooo.
feel free to inquire about STD histories or request evidence of STD results. you will be the only one who puts your health first, so do it.
do not think that you KNOW the person because you have been texting / talking for several days. It is one thing to understand a person, and another thing to get to know him.
in a world that is more and more based on text, remember that action still speaks louder.
We are not born knowing what we want, and what we want can change over time. Be honest with yourself, be honest with the person you are dating, and learn from the process.