Make a Morning Checklist for Your Older Child, Then Get Out of the Way
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten for getting my then-preschooler out the door in the morning was to put together a visual checklist to guide him. I made a clip art with a toothbrush (brush your teeth), sweaters (get dressed), plates of cereal (have breakfast) and newspapers (bring the newspaper from the porch … I don’t know, he liked to do this).
This gave us simple and consistent directions to use over and over again, and if there was enough time in the morning after all his tasks were completed, he could watch one show before heading to kindergarten.
It turns out that this tip works for older children as well.
After too many morning conflicts with her 12-year-old son, writer Kristen May decided to put his morning checklist on the chalkboard. Then, as she tells Scary Mommy , she eluded him:
I will no longer swim nearby in the mornings with my well-meaning reminders, “Are you brushing your teeth?” “Is your backpack ready?” “Do you have shoes?”
My son has to check the checklist and pay attention to the timing. No more warnings from me about the ticking clock. And if the items on the checklist are not met, leaving time, there is no screen time for that day – no exceptions.
I can remember her son May, who, she said, “always woke up slowly in the morning. And even when he wakes up, he looks like a bear until his blood begins to circulate. ” I, too, was a teenager and teenager who would rather stay awake for an hour before talking or talking to anyone. (I am a little better as an adult, but you will never mistake me for a morning person.)
The checklist method is an easy way to spell out expectations that you both can agree on one evening when everyone is a little more cheerful, and the consequences of not meeting them.
And then you can minimize morning conversations – as well as grunts and screams.