I Am the Author and Podcaster of Hillary Frank and This Is How I Am a Parent
(Hillary Frank – founder, former host and executive producer of a popular podcast about parenting The Longest Shortest Time In January, she published her new book «. To Weird Parenting Wins is: Bath Dining, the Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches » 15… )
Name: Hillary Frank. Residence: Montclair, New Jersey. Job: Creator and Executive Producer of The Longest Shortest Term podcast Family: Her husband Jonathan; 8-year-old daughter Sasha; and their cat Charlie
Tell us a little about your family and your career. Was life mostly according to plan, or were there any surprises?
Is something going according to plan? I grew up thinking that I would become a graphic designer or illustrator. I wanted to be like Edward Gorey, write and illustrate books, but not necessarily for children. I even went to graduate school in classical drawing. But in the meantime, I heard This American Life and felt a passion for radio – although I have always been an introvert. I think it was difficult for me to say more.
I married a guy who also works on radio and an introvert. We have a child who most of all enjoys playing the drums. Didn’t expect this.
Has becoming a parent changed the way you work?
Yes! I’ve always been a bit of a workaholic. And I still tend to work quite a few hours, struggling to meet deadlines, laying out time after my daughter falls asleep. But after years of burning candles at both ends, I realized that I was doing my job better and becoming a parent if I put some restrictions on my work schedule. So, about a year ago I stopped working on weekends and try to stop working after 9:00 pm whenever possible. This is not always possible.
What inspired you to create your new book, Weird Parenting Wins ?
Weird Parenting Wins came about because of my frustration with parenting books. When my daughter was born in 2010, I read a lot of how-to style guides. How to put a child to bed, how to calm him down, how to feed him. And most of these books made me feel like I was failing. They were very prescriptive, giving the impression that if you cannot put your child to sleep the way the author said, then you are doing it wrong.
After a few years of being a parent, I realized that the strategies that really worked for me were those that I developed through trial and error and in moments of despair. I wrote a message in the blog titled “The longest the shortest possible time” , which asked whether other people tell you. I asked them to comment on their unusual parenting methods. Something you won’t hear from an expert. The examples I received were fun and helpful and I started to think that this might be the seed of a project.
What’s your weirdest parenting win?
I have an only child, so I don’t have much experience in raising fights between children. One day my daughter had a friend – another only child – and they fought. I sat quietly a few feet away on the living room rug and slowly climbed up into a headstand. (I recently found that this skill somehow stuck with me from childhood, although I’m not very athletic!) When the girls noticed me upside down, they immediately stopped arguing and wanted me to teach them how to do headstands.
What are you most proud of as a parent?
Watching my daughter play drums in a Tom Petty cover band.
What moment are you least proud of?
There was a time when my family walked around the neighborhood. My husband dragged our daughter in the van. When we were a couple of blocks from home, he rolled the cart over the wasp’s nest, which was built in a giant crack in the sidewalk. A wasp got stuck in my sandal and stung my toe several times as I tried to take off my shoes. It hurt so much that I had to ride into the van with my daughter, who bit her finger. My husband dragged us home, we both cried like crazy. I prayed that the neighbors would not see me.
What’s the hardest part about being a parent?
Figure out how to take care of yourself, or even make time for it.
Do you employ your daughter?
I try not to do this. From time to time I record her say something funny and broadcast it on The Longest Shortest Time. But as she gets older, I want her to have complete control over how much of her life is in public. Now I ask her permission before I record her for the show, and she knows it’s okay to refuse.
Has anyone ever given you parenting advice that you really liked?
Yes. When I was pregnant, one of my best friends said, “I’ll only give you one piece of advice. Don’t listen to anyone’s advice. Everyone will tell you how you should do something, and you don’t need to do any of it. You can do it your way. “
The only thing I would like to say to other parents who are pursuing a career:
Mothers face more discrimination in the workplace than fathers or people without children; if you have experienced discrimination, please report it. And if you are a father, the best thing you can do is take parental leave. All this.