What’s the Worst Piece of Advice You Hear All the Time?
“What’s the worst common piece of advice you can think of?” – asks Josie Duffy Rice on Twitter. For her it is like this:
“My most ardent opinion is that natural childbirth is patriarchy in a feminist guise,” says Rice. (As a father of a newborn, I can see her point of view!) Twitter users add their own. Here’s my favorite:
While I do not believe in the Christian doctrine of original sin, there is a reason why this is so compelling: even if God does not judge us, it will not make us perfect without effort. To be a good person, you have to work.
Aaron Fullerton gives the dumbest writing advice:
Absolutely. “Write what you know” is almost meaningless if it is not unpacked as a Zen koan. It is much more useful to advise the writer, say, to read a lot, or delve into your assumptions, or look for new experiences.
Famed Internet poet Johnny Sun describes what did not necessarily lead to his success:
“I wasted so many years working and not protecting myself, and then I was frustrated that no one noticed / recognized me or my work,” he adds. Self-marketing can be excruciating and anxiety-provoking, but it is just as valuable and “real” as creating things.
We’re shredding every trivial thing we’ve ever gotten in handwritten type on top of a filtered photograph of distant mountain peaks:
Right? What is the logic behind this advice? Have you really never met a happy couple who got together while at least one of them was in disarray?
The next one is especially insidious, as it creeps into all self-actualization tips in some form:
Again, this advice pretends that truly happy people never do what they don’t want to do. Your last day on earth is not good for the rest of your life. Ben Franklin put it better: “Work as if you were going to live a hundred years. Pray as if you are going to die tomorrow. “
Don’t get angry with what is essentially the slogan for the cafe wall stickers, but this philosophy has become a way to punish anyone with real responsibility. This creates a false dichotomy between this “normal” life and Casey Neistat’s kind of manic-pixelated “do what you love every day” life, narrowing down the definition of a fulfilling life. Don’t let yourself get upset about, say, a job that allows you to save for retirement.
Thanks, next one:
This is one of those aphorisms that is contradicted by another aphorism: “Don’t fight when you get tired.” Because it’s not easy! Fights are not solved by lines from BrainyQuote! Some people are better able to resolve conflicts immediately, others – after rest, and this needs to be negotiated.
If the person you are talking to is somewhere else, you need to calm your racing thoughts. Try writing them down and think about the consequences of the conflict. Ask yourself, if I solved this problem today or tomorrow, what difference does it make in a week or a year?
If you are sleeping with the other side, you need to talk a little about the extent of the conflict. They are often more ready to rest because they are less concerned about the direction of the conflict. Find a level at which you can agree: this fight is not a break; this fight won’t change your dynamics forever; this fight is similar to the one you had before, so you know you can end it.
Ok last one:
Ahahahaha, imagine giving this advice after hearing any baby cry, ever.
Read the rest of this Twitter thread and enjoy the catharsis of all who collectively call awful advice bullshit.