Leave the Work Holiday Early
Corporate holiday tonight. Don’t screw it up.
You have a “fun” outfit to change into one hidden under the table, even if you’re not entirely sure why you’re dressing up for these people you see every day and honestly don’t really like. Regardless of! It’s time to have a drink from the company and relax to talk to the people you’ve met at the microwave for seven months in a row but never recognized.
Corporate holiday parties can be avoided by leaving the party early. Leaving a party early minimizes the chances of drinking more than two drinks . You’re less likely to say something immodest, mess up, or do something that triggers an HR investigation tomorrow.
How early are we talking?
Nobody is trying to ruin your good time. It is not in vain that a corporate holiday is eagerly awaited. It’s nice to chill out with coworkers, introduce your spouse to your team (if you have a spouse and you’re allowed to bring them in, what’s in this economy who we’re kidding) and get to know people outside the office. Stay long enough for this.
It’s time to leave when the party is in full swing for an hour or two. The noise is almost deafening. You have had the pleasant experience of realizing that someone you thought was boring is actually just shy. The buffet is ready, you are pleasantly animated and you feel good. You haven’t spilled your wine on your forehead, no one mutters, cries or screams, but there is a good chance they will be showing up soon.
This is where your conversation ends, and for a moment you find that you have no one to talk to. You look at your colleagues and have tremendous love for them.
You will be tempted to restock and circle around to find someone to talk to. I mean, it was a good time and it can only get better! Right? No. Leave. Now that you’re leaving.
Remember who you are
You are the person who has a life outside of this party. You have non-working friends, pets, and people who love you. Your life is not in this banquet room, bar or private Ruby Tuesday party room. These are your colleagues with whom you have a great relationship, and you don’t need this to be the most epic night of your damn life. That aggressive voice of FOMO: “You can’t leave, what if everything is okay? What if your nemesis gets drunk along with your boss and ends up getting promoted before you? What if all it takes is one more round for people to realize that I really am the funniest person on the team? ”Is as misleading as when he tells you that other people’s Instagram feeds represent their real, glamorous life.
Things won’t get better afterward
There’s always a bit of an afterparty for working holiday parties where the real party-goers go to the night party and fuck even more. When I was working in advertising, the party moved to a posh hotel where a team from a sportswear store took off their clothes and bathed in a fountain. I think one of them got fired.
It is true that the later you stay, the more chances you will have of truly relaxing, seeing something worthwhile. But you really don’t want either one or the other. Truly relaxing with your coworkers, especially if you’re offended and don’t remember what you said or did the next day, is the recipe for the most disturbing hangover of your life. Think about the future when you wake up in your bed. Do you want to wake up in the morning and go to the gym, stopping to grab some bacon, egg and cheese for a moderate amount of booze left in your body? Or do you want to wake up at 4am when the room is spinning and you don’t know what you said or where your wallet is?
Leave on a high note
When you leave early and feel warm towards your coworkers and are sure you haven’t done anything, for which tomorrow you may have to apologize, you are etched in the memory of everyone about the night as a witty, respectable, cheerful, person with healthy boundaries who still having a damn good time. As Jerry instructs George at Seinfeld, “When you hit that high note, you say goodbye and leave.” It’s you. You know the line between a pleasant time and, oh my god, what I’ve done. Sip a few drinks, chat and have some fun, and when the fight is at its peak, thank the crowd, order Lyft and head home.