These Two Questions Will Help You Decide If You Want to Do Something.
For most of our ambitions, there is a gap between “wanting” and “doing.” Before you start trying to close it, ask yourself these two questions. They can save you time.
According to trainer Peter Bregman, if you can’t say yes to both, you may be thinking about it. In an article for the Harvard Business Review, Bregman shared an anecdote about a conversation with his 10-year-old son after an athletics competition in which he put “the middle of the pack.” His son was disappointed with his timing, so Bregman gave him this mental exercise:
“I have two questions for you,” I said. “One: do you want to achieve more?”
If the answer is no, then trying to coach would be foolish (a mistake I’ve made in the past).
“Yeah,” he said.
“Here’s my second question: Are you willing to feel uncomfortable by putting in more effort and trying new things that will seem out of the ordinary and out of the ordinary and won’t work right away?”
Bregman says that if you can’t answer yes to both questions, you can’t make the change. Both of you should strive to excel at any goal – run faster, find a new job, make friends – and be willing to do things differently than you do, all the while feeling the discomfort that this implies. In the end, his son wasn’t sure about this and decided to wait until next season to decide which is a pretty mature reaction for a ten year old. But for the rest of us, it’s a great way to decide if we’re ready to grow.
Learning something new means working the muscles that you have allowed to atrophy physically, intellectually, and emotionally. Once you understand this, it can potentially lead to frustration or embarrassment. Taking risks can be scary, especially if you are used to being successful at your current level or position. Bregman advises that you first understand what it means to do something new and ask yourself if you are really ready to do it. Saying yes is certainly not a guarantee that you will succeed, but in difficult times you may remember that you thought it was worth it. Then push through.