Prepare Your Child for Their First Sleepover
Going to your first sleepover is a Big Child initiation rite. This means that you have officially crossed the threshold from “I go on dates my mom arranged” to “I have my own legitimate social life.”
But for many children, a sleepover can be exhilarating and unsettling in equal measure. What if I fall asleep first? What if I can’t sleep at all? What if I get scared? What if I want to go home?
However, we do not need to throw them headlong into the country of overnight stays. We can let them go through it slowly and surely.
Start with a sleepless party
A sleepless party is essentially a late night pajama party. It has everything you need for a true pajama party – pizza, movies, popcorn, pajamas, sugar, screeching – except that nobody really sleeps. You pick up the kids too late when they almost faint. They satiated themselves with a night out without the added stress of figuring out how to sleep on an air mattress or in a sleeping bag.
Take turns with a trusted friend so that your child has an almost sleepover experience and the other child too. If all goes well, it’s time to try the real deal.
Let’s talk about what to expect
Children love to know what comes next. Visualizing something in advance can help reduce their anxiety about a new situation. So share any details you know about your overnight stay, and don’t be afraid to ask the host for more information.
Talk about who is going, when you will throw them away, and when you will return to pick them up. And we will definitely talk about where they will sleep.
My son was recently invited to his first real sleepover. Backyard birthday party with light games, snacks and a very large tent where he and four other boys will sleep. My first reaction was, “Wow, that sounds REALLY fun. Besides, my son cannot stay all night in a tent outside, let alone sleep in that tent. “
He always found it difficult to fall asleep if the conditions were not quite right. He is not one of those kids who fall asleep in the car or on the couch, no matter how exhausted he is. He falls asleep in bed, preferably his own, The End.
When the initial excitement about the invitation had passed, he realized that it might be difficult for him to fall asleep on the inflatable mattress in the tent. So we talked about this. He was not going to be one of the first to fall asleep, we knew that. He probably would have been the last, and that was fine. We talked about how in the end, when it gets nice, quiet and dark, he can close his eyes, count back from 100 and let himself go.
We told him that in the worst case, he didn’t sleep at all. Even if it did, we would be there in the morning first of all to escort him straight to bed. After we gave him permission to not sleep, his anxiety about falling asleep seemed to lessen.
Pack the essentials
There are obvious things like a toothbrush, pajamas and clothes for the next day. But also bring an extra set of clothing in case they spill a glass of juice on their lap five minutes after arriving. If they are picky about food, just in case, bring a couple of snacks that they like.
Ask them if they would like to bring this special blanket or stuffed bear toy with which they usually snuggle up to sleep. If they are afraid that it will embarrass them, you can always put it in a plastic bag and bury it in the bottom. He will be there if they need it.
Be in touch
Finally, especially before your first full night of sleep, be prepared for the phone call at midnight. Let them know that you understand this is new and if they are not having fun or just need to hear your voice, they can call you. I told my son that he can call me anytime if he is really having trouble falling asleep and wants to return home. The realization that he had such an opportunity eased the pressure a little.
And guess what? He got a blast and then fell asleep. (In the end.)