Send New Mom Gifts for Her, Not for the Baby.
When my daughter-in-law was pregnant with my nephew earlier this year, I watched him indulge – constantly and thoroughly – even though he hadn’t even taken his first breath.
He had toys he couldn’t play with yet, clothes he hadn’t fit in months, and gear that took up 10 times more space. (Yes, I have contributed to each of these categories … because he is my nephew and that is my prerogative.)
But as her pregnancy came to an end, I began to remember those first days and weeks after the birth of my own son eight years ago. I remembered how rude it was. My body, my emotions, my hormones – my world seemed open, and at the same time, I suddenly felt more drained and charged with more responsibility than ever.
“I want to send your sister some package when Connor is born,” I told my husband one evening, a few weeks before her due date.
“Things for a child?” he asked.
“No, he has everything,” I said. “I’m sending her something .”
I started asking friends and asking moms in my Facebook groups: what would you like to have after having a baby? What would help? What would make you feel human again?
This is how I created the New Mom Care Package formula. Take a box and place 1-2 pieces each of the following for your beloved young mom:
Something to keep her from dehydration
A large water bottle that she can hold next to the couch. Herbal teas set. Expensive coffee beans that she would never spend on. Wine. Beer. Liquor. (We use the word “hydrated” loosely here.) Give her a favorite liquid treat.
Something to keep her warm
Yes, we are approaching the winter months, but I think it is suitable for any time of the year. She does not sleep all night, and she wants to wrap up with something. The softer the better. A light robe, a pretty scarf, a long sweater, or a pair of fluffy socks will do.
Something to pamper her
A gift voucher for a massage, a hand-held back comb, her favorite lip balm, scented lotions. Or chocolates. I don’t care if it’s a cliché; you can’t go wrong with chocolate.
Something for treasure
Give her a little gift to remember the “young mother.” I think about jewelry, people. Ring with a child’s stone. A bracelet or necklace engraved with the child’s name, first initial or date of birth. Something bright and sentimental at the same time.
Finally, include a great card
The usual “Congratulations on your baby” postcard does not quite fit into this package of services. Because you are not just congratulating her on the birth of her baby. You congratulate her on giving birth to this child and still manages to function at a basic human level. This requires a card with more power. Here is the card I chose for my daughter-in-law.
And tell her what she needs to hear – what we all need to hear, but often forget to say that to be a good parent, you must remember to take care of yourself. Your oxygen mask is put on first.