I Forgot Your Name, Save Me
Maybe my face is blind . Maybe I’m just a jerk. But I often meet with acquaintances and cannot remember their names. If I’m with my wife, she knows what to do: she introduces herself immediately so they can repeat their name. I might look a little rude for not jumping to him, but at least my secret is safe. And I know that I am not the only one who needs this help. More than 14,000 people retweeted this confession from TV host Dwayne Perkins:
Damn, this is just the beginning. Perhaps I have forgotten more than their name. So don’t just introduce yourself, don’t ask the other person how they know me, or some other small talk that will help me get them going. It usually takes over my brain, and I don’t have to be vague and restrained trying to figure out who it is – an old colleague, a college acquaintance, or a mutual twitter.
And if you come up and say hello, shy away from some fucking context. Don’t leave me here on a memory test. Hide a little, put it bluntly, even the playing field with the words “I think we met at Tim’s party”, as if you do not know 100% that we played Settlers of Catan together five years ago. A little reminder will probably give me back my memory, and if it doesn’t, you will still give me enough to fake it. Because otherwise, this second conversation won’t create any new memories of you. You’re just going to enter my big mental bucket of “people who put me in an awkward conversation.” You will feel bad, I will feel bad, we both want us to never meet.
I’m trying to change. But I need help. And believe me, I will always answer you in kind. I’ll call myself by name, I’ll bring up the question of when was the last time we hung out, I’m an expert at getting my friends up to par with plausible denial. It’s a little awkward sometimes, but it’s never as awkward as the old “Hey … you!”
And if you know me and I happen to follow my colleague Claire’s evil advice and tell you that I am “glad to meet you” for the fifth time, please don’t worry. Know that you are a special unforgettable person, and I am simply the worst.