How to Stop Checking Your Ex’s Social Media Profiles
Breaking up is difficult, especially when there are many public profiles where we can check everything our ex is doing. Watching the person you are dating spends all their days without you is a bad idea, but so hard to resist. Here’s how to do it.
Writer Dana Hamilton of The Cut was experiencing a breakup when Instagram, with his siren song, became a problem for her recovery. Hamilton found herself testing what her ex-boyfriend was up to, and it was emotionally discouraging. So, she passed her phone to a friend – and soon found herself laughing instead of crying.
“The last eight weeks have been all of his photographs in the woods,” she told me. “It’s an alarming amount of time, Dana. He also writes poetry now. So I think what I’m trying to say is that you met Bon Iver by chance. “
When a friend looks at your ex’s social media feed and describes them to you with as sarcastic comments as possible, it’s a great reality check. You cannot imagine their life bigger and better, but in fact you also do not see them and do not look into their faces with longing. You are getting the truth from someone who does not have long-term feelings for this person. Hamilton consulted a psychotherapist to find out what she was pointing to:
“When a friend plays the role of a social media facilitator, it helps because it gives you a little distance from what is happening with your ex, without making you wonder what they are doing and not imagine that it’s great,” explains Jill Whitney, marriage and family therapist. based in Old Lyme, Connecticut. “You get a wide view without going into details … The key is to create some distance on the network between you and your ex, just like there is now space between you in real life.”
Ask a friend to act as a buffer between you and your need to know. Another thought that came to my mind while reading this story is that if I had to ask a friend every time I wanted to watch my ex’s Instagram, it might hold me back a little. There is nothing better than someone shouting: “Again ?!” to get you to take a closer look at your compulsive behavior.
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Eme Lyutkin is a freelance writer who blogs a lot about dating . She currently travels the country and is going on a date in every city she visits.