Resolve the Conflict Easier by Setting a Time to Fight With Your Partner
No one wants to fight (or at least who you probably want to have a relationship with), but fights do happen, and having them is a healthy part of any relationship. Although fighting all the time is not good, just like not fighting at all. When you have healthy, constructive fights with your partner about important issues affecting your relationship, it can often even bring you closer, rather than alienate each other.
So what is a healthy fight? Time recently spoke with psychologists to find out. One interesting suggestion made by physiologists: plan your conflicts.
This offer seemed strange to me, but after thinking a little, I can refuse it. Instead of fighting at a time when tensions are high when a fight breaks out, schedule a time for you to end it.
You are not going to put off the fight until next Tuesday, but take a few hours to get everyone to think about their feelings and why they are angry, and then return to the conversation with those well thought out thoughts. That way, you will hopefully avoid the momentary offensive statements, and instead can get to the root of the problem and offer a respectful solution to both sides.
Think about the reason for your fight.
We often find ourselves in the same quarrel over and over again. While the theme of the battle could theoretically change, if you look at the root of your battle, you will find that they are repetitive.
An example Time gives here is a couple who have a “5:30 fight” during the week because one partner wants to talk about their day and the other wants to relax after a hard day at work. Person number one feels ignored and underestimated when number two avoids conversation, but in reality, both people are creating a problem.
Instead of fighting every day or fighting over and over again, take a look at what is ultimately causing the problem, and then work to find a compromise that makes everyone happy. For example, when the same old fight starts over again, maybe everyone can walk away for a few minutes and then regroup.
And when you are fighting, be sure to listen to what your partner is saying, ask questions, and when you are wrong, learn to apologize correctly. Just as we all have our own love languages, we all have our own apology languages.