How to Deal With a Situation When You Know You Are a Hypocrite
Hell, how good it is to be righteous in literally everything. So be confident in your moral compass and belief system. No wonder people refuse to see their own hypocrisy. It destroys the high.
There is a lot of hypocrisy in the world now. There is nothing surprising. People can change, of course, but as Daniel R. Stadler writes for Psychology Today, hypocrisy often happens because we tend to justify our actions in ways that we don’t justify other people. These people are doing something wrong; we ‘re doing something necessary and important – it’s just a coincidence that these behaviors look exactly the same.
According to Stadler, making excuses is our bias. Confirmation bias is when what we believe is influenced by our desires; we want something to be real, so we find evidence that it is. A “blind spot of bias” is seeing bias in others, but also believing that we are free of it. In addition, there is an actor-observer bias, where you believe that all of your actions are due to external factors, but everyone else does something out of emotion. This shows that not all hypocrisy is malicious, and with a little reflection on yourself, you can see and admit it.
Here’s what to do if you understand that you are a hypocrite:
Bring it back
Stadler encourages people to back down when they realize they are acting hypocritically – especially if you’ve just blamed someone for what you are doing. He says that phrases like “after thinking” or “after thinking further” are some good discoveries for this, and explains from there that you no longer think they are wrong.
I dare to improve
If you have acted in a hypocritical way, it will be more difficult for you to turn back time. All that remains is to promise that it will get better in the future. Stadler gives a couple of harmless examples, for example, refusal to dispose of:
If you’ve already taken out the trash, promise to find a trash can next time. If you haven’t followed through on your own New Years resolution within days of New Years, remind yourself that there are still several months ahead.
Admitting your own hypocrisy can be a moment for growth. This is an opportunity to imagine who you would like to be, and not just who you imagine yourself to be.
Admit it
None of the above will happen until you admit you were wrong. In my opinion, this is the most difficult step. Few people like to take a step back and really look at themselves. They are afraid of being forced to pay and face potential public shame. Stadler offers some ideas on how to start your apology tour:
This may be the most difficult, but there are phrases that can help, such as how you are “big enough” to admit you’re wrong, or how it’s time to “eat the crows.”
“Eating a crow” isn’t exactly a motivating idea, but it’s true that sometimes it’s better to get a little hurt by making amends. It’s much worse to go to bed every night knowing that you’re a big, fake person.
Get over it
As mentioned above, people are often hypocritical, not wanting to be. They are not sinister – they are just people who justify their actions. It looks like they are alive! It’s only bad when you admit you’re a hypocrite and then decide to double your bet. It can be difficult to do the right thing, but just think how fun it will be to be righteous again in the future when your conscience is clear.