How to Raise a Tough Child, According to American Ninja Warrior Jesse Graff
If there is anyone who knows a thing or two about falls, it is Jesse Graff. But for the American ninja warrior phenomenon, the most important thing is to return. Through a new video series called Stunt Sitter, Graff teaches parents who call themselves “helicopters” how to let their kids take risks and even – choke – fail. We asked Graff what parents can do to raise tough, confident, and tough children, both physically and mentally.
Teach them to assess risks
The stuntman believes that raising brave children does not mean cutting the cord and letting them go on their own. Instead, help them take calculated risks. Graff, whose mom also knows how to overcome obstacles , recalls how her parents thought processes with her when she wanted to try something new. “If I told them, ‘You know, I want to climb to the top of this cliff,’ they wouldn’t say no. They said, “Okay, let’s think about it. Do you think all these stones are super strong? Yes. “ Are you strong enough to get to the top?” Oh yes, I am definitely strong enough. – Well, how high have you climbed before? Ten feet. “Okay, that’s close to 50 feet. This is five times higher, plus once you get up, you have to go back. Maybe we should take some tests at the climbing gym to see if you are strong enough for that. ” So later, when I was playing with friends, I had the tools to look at the rock and say, “Yes, I can climb this one” or “No, it’s not safe.” I will make a smarter choice. “
Celebrate Nice Falls
Graff says parents need to teach their children to fall. (To do this safely, you have to deal with it .) Because if they don’t learn when they are little, they will hurt much more when they get bigger. When falls happen – and they do happen – don’t worry. “Have you ever seen a child who, like, wipes himself off, spreads on the floor, and then stops? They don’t know how to react. I’ve seen so many parents choke with terror and run and pamper them and say, “Oh my gosh, are you okay? And so the child immediately knows: “I fell, and this is a disaster,” and they burst into tears. If you get to the point where they don’t know what to do and are like them, “That was great! Great fall, you’re so cool! What did you get? Oh yes, you have a scratch. Good! I’ll show you how to deal with it. ” They often say, “Okay, cool.” Of course, there will be other times when there will be a couple of tears, and then you might think, “Dude, it was tough. How do you travel? Let’s figure out how to do it better next time. ” Every fall is such a good learning experience. “
Remind them that they can always change their story.
Superheroes can be powerful figures for children, especially if they learn to embody their best qualities. Graff’s motto: be your hero. “In many fairy tales, the princess is waiting for the hero to come to rescue her. Part of my message is cool, but I want to know that I can save myself, that I don’t have to wait for someone else to take care of me. I can look at the situation and become who I need to become in order to be saved. For example, if I’m late and I’m stressed about it, I might think, “Well, what would the hero do here?” and then I will become that hero for myself. ” Children can do the same. The study found that children who pretended to be characters like Batman while on the job tended to persist longer . This $ 5 cape can really have super powers, even if only psychological ones.
Give them space
Not that Graff’s parents weren’t afraid of hurting their child, like other mom and dad – they were, but held back. That makes all the difference, she said. When she was six years old, they enrolled her in circus lessons after she became interested in the flying trapeze. “I remember how they clenched their fists, watching me, ready to dive in and help me in any way they could. But they kept their distance, so I had this room to try something and learn to move around my surroundings, fall and get up again. They knew that I was going to leave this world and grow up. ” It’s not easy for parents to let their children experience pain, but Graff believes that by hiding them from it, they will never know what they are capable of.