What to Do With Your Shared Items When You Move
This week we have a guy who moves to his home and takes with him the things he bought. The problem is that his old roommates use some of these things and don’t have time to adapt. Is there a good way to handle this kind of situation?
Some people have problems that require the delicate advice of a qualified professional. Others just need a random guy on the internet to kick them in the teeth (i.e. honestly). I am the last one. Welcome back to Tough Love .
Note: I am by no means a therapist or medical professional. People ask for my advice, and I give them. End of transaction. If you have any problems, please submit a formal complaint here . Now that it doesn’t get in the way, let’s continue:
Hi, Patrick!
I live with several other people on a monthly basis. I will move to a new location within a week and will notify my neighbors to move out 30 days in advance.
The problem I have is that half of the furniture in the old location is mine (including the washer, dryer and sofas) and I want to move it to a new location at the beginning of the month. It seems rude to me to take it with you without first informing my old roommates. However, these are all things that I brought with me to the apartment, and I do not feel obligated to notify them 30 days in advance when I move my things.
What is the best way to deal with this situation?
Thank you, moving roommate
Hello roommate:
Look, you had a monthly lease, so all parties needed to know to some extent that this was possible at any time. You gave them 30 days’ notice, so on paper, you technically did what you had to do.
However, you don’t stay a full 30 days, and neither do your stuff that everyone uses. You are right, these are your belongings, and you do not have to leave them. But you’re also right that it would be rude to yank the rug out from under them (literally). So what you should do depends on who these people are and how you want these people to think of you. They are your friends? Friends you would like to keep as friends? Or are they just roommates – people you can’t wait to get rid of?
If they’re friends of yours, you should probably throw them a dice here, MR. At least leave behind essential, functional items for the full 30 days, you know? Grab your couch and other furniture, but don’t force all your buddies to use the laundry room because you are so excited to move to a new location. It would be nice to use the laundry yourself for a while, or move the laundry to the old place until a replacement is found there. Give them some time to buy a washer and dryer at a bargain price.
However, if they are not your friends, and you do not plan to make them a part of your life, things get a little darker. You can just grab your things and leave if you don’t mind if they think you are an asshole. But if I were you, I would still be polite. Consider leaving your business for the rest of the month, or at least be accommodating so they have more than a week to sort things out. Or, if you really want your items to arrive quickly, offer help finding comparable replacements. Make you put in extra effort here. In the end, you take off, and a month is not so much. Be good.
Or be a jerk. I do not care. You are the one who has to live with yourself.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and misty inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me with #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR REQUEST TO BE INCLUDED, AND PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.