When He Doesn’t Stop Looking at Other Women
This week we have a lady who hates it when her boyfriend is staring at other women. Will she finally be able to tell him how she feels and get the respect she deserves? Or will he be too busy looking at other girls to see her leave for good?
Some people have problems that require the delicate advice of a qualified professional. Others just need a random guy on the internet to kick them in the teeth (i.e. honestly). I am the last one. Welcome back to Tough Love .
Note: I am by no means a therapist or medical professional. People ask for my advice, and I give them. End of transaction. If you have any problems, please submit a formal complaint here . Now that it doesn’t get in the way, let’s continue:
Help! My 6-month-old boyfriend won’t stop staring at other women when we’re in public together. Of course, I mentioned this several times over the course of several months and, in order not to be a “jealous girl”, I allowed it to be neglected most of the time.
On Memorial Day weekend, he took me on a much needed beach holiday, planned everything, paid for my travel, and even gifted me some of my favorite travel gear. It seemed like the perfect getaway. But once we were at the beach, which we know is full of almost naked girls, he can’t even talk to me because he’s too busy drooling over the cheeky asses of some young, probably just graduated high school girl. dressed as she makes her way into the ocean, her ass glistening with his pleasure.
Move to me next to him, I look fine. I always make an effort and have good genes. But I am also trying to recover from a messy divorce that is still incomplete and an abusive marriage. It’s hard to feel good when the guy you belong doesn’t give a damn if you’re sitting next to him and he longs for other women. Then he expects my panties to fall to the floor when we’re finally alone? Fuck you, man, literally because I don’t want to.
His disrespect for me makes me run to the mountains. Am I overreacting?
Hey, I feel small:
Maybe a little – but let me clarify, because you are definitely not wrong! First, know that looking at other people is okay. Your man doesn’t necessarily look at other women because they are prettier than you, or because he wants to be with them instead of you. When we look, it’s because we naturally find someone who is physically attractive, simple, and understandable. We are animals attracted by beauty, with biological instincts that sometimes win us over.
However, it is also perfectly normal for you to feel the way you are feeling, and you have every right to disagree with his creepy look . Note that I said “gaze” above, not staring or staring. There is a big difference in this, and biology definitely cannot serve as an excuse for his particular behavior. It can be difficult for men to completely look away from a beautiful woman in a bikini, but we certainly have the ability to control how we look at her and for how long . Maybe he can’t help but throw a quick glance to miss the cocky beach vacation, but he shouldn’t be staring and drooling. This is totally disrespectful to you and her! To make matters worse, you expressed your dissatisfaction with the fact that he was staring at the past, and he continues to do so. But before you shove this guy’s cartoon eyes into his head and nudge him toward the curb, you can try other tactics other than just calling out to him while looking at him.
If you don’t want to look like the “jealous girl,” Feeling Small, you need to thoroughly discuss how his behavior makes you feel . This conversation is NOT:
- You shout at him.
- You are punishing him.
- You tell him to “fuck you” as much as you want.
- Or even you tell him to never look at other women (this will probably make him look at them more).
If you start shooting, he will become defensive and will probably find a way to blame your insecurity or some other nonsense. Don’t give him the opportunity! In this conversation, you should simply express how awful you feel when he does this in front of you; how it makes you feel like you’re not good enough for him, how it makes you feel small and unimportant, and how it makes you doubt your future with him because you want to be with someone who respects you and thinks that you are beautiful. He knows you don’t like the way he looks, “Feeling small,” but he needs to understand why . So do it. He needs to learn how to keep an eye on the prize – you – without being told no and kicked in the nose like a pet every time he is caught.
But be here with realistic expectations, Feeling Small. He’s not going to magically stop seeing other beautiful women in the world. He’ll probably glance over from time to time, and he’ll probably imagine – for a moment – what it would be like to be with them before moving on. But the bottom line is that he should start to respect you more and stop staring and drooling at other women, especially when he is around you. If he doesn’t, tell him to stare at you as you walk away. There are many mature men who can control themselves.
That’s all for this week, but I still have a lot of frank and honest advice. Tell me what is bothering you? Maybe I can help. I probably won’t make you feel warm and misty inside, but sometimes you need tough love. Ask a question in the comments below or email me at the address you see at the bottom of the page ( please include “TIP” in the subject line ). Or tweet me with #ToughLove ! Also, DO NOT WRITE ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR REQUEST TO BE INCLUDED, AND PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT . I don’t have time to answer everyone for fun. “Until next time, figure it out yourself.