I’m Shannon Watts, Founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, and This Is How I Parent
Shannon Watts is the founder of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America , a grassroots movement working to reduce gun violence. The organization, made up of teams of ordinary Americans in all 50 states, has been called the ” NRA ‘s worst nightmare . “ Watts and her fellow activists are now wrapping up a nationwide Wear Orange Weekend campaign to show that there is still a lot of work ahead. This is how a mother of five does it.
Name: Shannon Watts Residence: Colorado Job: Full-time volunteer Family: Children: Kelly (29), Samantha (24), Abby, 22; Emma, 21; Samuel, 17 years old
Tell us a little about your family and your career. Was life mostly according to plan or were there any surprises?
Most of my kids and my career have been surprises – good surprises. I had children in early childhood – up to 30 years old. Then I inherited two stepdaughters when I was under 40. At 41, I became a casual activist when I opened a Facebook page where American moms talked about gun violence the next day. shooting at the Sandy Hook School. I was the head of corporate communications for 15 years and then I was a housewife, but I was never very politically active. So going from a housekeeper to an activist constantly traveling the country to talk about safety with a gun was something I could never have imagined. However, I think my background in communications, branding and messaging helped Moms Demand Action gain visibility so quickly.
Tell us about your morning routine.
I wake up every day at 6 am – due to perimenopause, sleep is a distant dream. One daughter and my son still live at home – my daughter is in college in Denver, and my son is about to go to high school. Every night I remind them to set their alarms eleven times, but I usually wake them up anyway because they forgot or overslept them. Then I make a smoothie (the only thing I can “cook”, which is nice), remind everyone to brush their tongues (not just their teeth), and make myself a coffee while they dress. The rest of the day – if I’m not on the road – I’m at home, answering calls, doing interviews, completing my senior year homework, going camping or doing yoga, and meditating at least once a day.
How do you share home / childcare responsibilities with your partner?
Now that our children are older and more independent, it has become much easier to navigate who is doing what. My husband commutes to work in California Monday through Thursday, but he cooks dinner at home. I don’t like cooking and I don’t do well, so my kids and I usually have dinner together on nights when he’s not (Chipotle knows us by name). Plus, I’m lucky to be living next to my ex-husband, and we’ve gotten along well together for over ten years now. In fact, we strongly believe that our three-parent model should be replicated in households around the world – this extra parent catches a lot of wacky jokes that the other two would have missed.
How much outside help do you get as a parent? Who or what cannot you live without?
When I started Moms Demand Action, my husband did an amazingly generous thing: he found someone who could help with the laundry (wash, fold and put away). It was like seeing the face of Jesus. The five kids make a lot of laundry (including the one that brought it home from college on weekends). In addition, I have been using the same virtual personal assistant for ten years now. I can send her a project like, “Can you help me plan this college visit with Sam in another state?” and she will work with me throughout the logistics – I just have to follow through.
What gadgets, apps, charts, or tools do you rely on?
The My Fantastic Calendar app is a map of my life, and if it ever stops working or disappears, you will hear my screams from neighboring states. I take my Kindle everywhere and leave too much on planes as a result. It upsets my husband, but I like to think that I’m littering the world with literacy. I use the Headspace app to meditate on the go. And my Apple Watch helps me disconnect from my iPhone and related apps, but I can still track my steps and receive any emergency messages or calls from kids.
Has becoming a parent changed the way you work?
After my children were born, I began to perform several tasks at the same time. I can do about six different things at the same time, and I do them well. This is also what makes moms such great activists – we multitask (this T-shirt is in the making). It is important for me to show my children that women can do whatever they want in life, but that they are always my priority. Two years ago, one of my daughters was diagnosed with an eating disorder. Once we realized what was happening, helping her became my number one priority. It was important for her to know that I am always in touch, and I also learned a valuable lesson: the world will not die if I am not available to my colleagues 24 hours a day.
How do you involve children in the work?
I’ve taken my kids to many Moms Demand Action events across the country. It’s important for them to see what I’m working on all day, every day. And I want them to be motivated to engage in activism – whatever it looks like, depending on their own passions. One of our daughters is gay and it was incredibly moving to take her along to march with Governor Cuomo in New York at the pride parade just after the shooting at Pulse nightclub. That’s why I do this work: to make sure that she and all the children can go where they want and live the way they want and not be vulnerable to gun violence.
What’s the hardest part about raising children?
Don’t take things personally. It takes time to realize this. From the first time your child closes the door at 12 or 13 to show independence, to hormone-triggered anger, to parenting acts that go unappreciated until they become parents themselves. I recommend Michael J. Bradley’s Yes Your Teen Is Crazy !: Loving Your Baby Without Losing Your Wits to all of my friends and volunteers, Moms Demand Action, who are struggling with parenting teens. The book has great advice on how to treat teenagers like “impartial cops.” This is the key to not increasing the number of bad teens.
Parenting is incredibly rewarding, but also incredibly difficult. I imagined that the difficult part would end when they turned 18, but in fact it’s no less difficult, but a different chapter. The problems are deeper, their grief is more destructive, their mistakes are more costly, but the difference is that you help them orientate themselves as more experienced parents in adulthood, whom they can relate to as a friend. One of my daughters – the one who least loved being a father as a teenager – is now 22 years old. She called me the other day from the car before going to work and said, “What if I can’t do this?” I said, “I’ve known you all your life. You can do it, you will do it, and you will be great. ” She paused and said, “You’re right. I just needed to hear it. Thank you mom. I reveled in that little moment when I finally became a cheerleader rather than a disciplinarian.